dear jiyun » jhs

/16/

160715

dear jiyun,

I hope your day started
off well

and you are feeling
joy

this beautiful morning.

I usually write you
much later,

before I go to bed

so that I can give you an imaginary
goodnight kiss
in the only way there is

to close my eyes and
sense your presence
laying down
next to me

even if your ghostly scent is
nowhere
to be seen.

the sun has risen though,
peeked from the low
rooftops

early,
some birds tweet,
some others hide before the rain

cloudy sky
cloudy heart

sending a cool breeze
to wander through the
tree leaves

to comfort the cold hearted.

it brought you along with it
as this day I'm having
is
disturbingly alike
to that one,

the first morning I spent
without being
by your side.

presumably you do not remember

and I don't expect you to,

you wouldn't,

yet in my mind it will always
be imprinted

engraved in my memory

how I woke up to your absence
in a semi empty bed

the covers thrown to the floor
my limbs trembling

windows wide open
like you flew out of them

taking your love with you,
leaving your odour behind

in the room,
carved on my chest

while I was trying to pick
my pieces up,
head in sultry, heavy pain
to rise from the shame of last night

ashes, let myself down again,

and find you
in vain.

thus I would like to ask you
for a favor
if it isn't much to ask

please,

as if it is that morning
when you never came back

leaving me in the in the debris of my passions,

do not enter my unconsciousness so confoundedly

I am gasping for air

and your form appearing suffocates me,

in my sleep,
in my daydreams,
in everything I experience

sneaks in deucedly

invades the peace and makes
me think of you again

all my efforts going to waste

and this torturous maze seems to have
no end.

all I'm asking for
is to be happy

god knows I'm trying,

I beg

I can't resign now

I can't keep on missing you
so pitifully much.

I will see you again,

hoseok