The War Between Queens [COMPLETED]

(Extra) Eugene's Egyptian War

~Eugene Fitzherbert, 2016~

"Are you sure we should hang out here every Friday night, Johnny? That Gaston dude is taking up the fireplace in the corner," Hiccup replied to him on one of the high stools of the bar.

"Relax, Hic. If he gets too close, I'll freeze him and Toothless will fry him." Jack cut in.

I didn't pay attention to either of them. I stared at my opponent across the table over the deck of my cards. "Get ready to be destroyed, amigo." Puss' whiskers curled as he slipped a card across the table. It was the two of spades. I threw down the two of hearts and immediately slapped the deck, retrieving all the cards.

"Hey! That was cheating!" Puss seethed through his pointed teeth.

"Doubles go to whoever slaps the deck first, Catwoman's henchman," I retorted, "we're playing Egyptian War, remember?"

"Hmm. I thought we were playing Go Fish."

"...You do realize that you don't get fish when you win, right?"

Puss scowled and tossed his cards to me before jumping down from the bar stool and walking out the door. I huffed, shuffled the deck and spun to play around with Jack.

"You know guys," Johnny replied as Jack took his deck and we began to empty our cards into a pile onto the table. "I have a sure bet that I know how to bond with our ladies."

"Oh please," I remarked, my eyes on the cards, "if anyone's the taken chick magnet here, it's me. Even Hiccup who's supposably living the 'single life' couldn't catch one."

"A fish?" Puss slipped his head through the entrance as Hiccup bowed his head solemnly.

I glared at him. "No."

He shrugged his slumped shoulders and returned to the outside. My attention went back to our game when I saw Jack grab the cards in the middle and smirk at me. "Now that's cheating." I said with lips curving downward.

"Really guys, I found a solution," Johnny persisted and gulped down some of his Seven-Up. "Women love action movies–I watched half of Iron Man Two without one complaint from Mavis. She was hooked."

"If we're really having this conversation," Jack's icy blue eyes strayed to Johnny for a split second, "Shouldn't you have more evidence? And I've seen movies with Elsa three times now. The only thing they had in common was Chris Pine and drama."

"Well it's time to bring out the Star Trek! Times have changed! It works, man!" Johnny tried, exasperated.

I groaned as I stared at my empty hands and Jack holding all the cards. I turned to Johnny, my annoyance ringing out. "Look, I disagree, so lets make a bet. I'll drag Punzie to a hotel with me, we'll watch some action movies, and see if she'll swat me with chocolate wrappers. If she does, I win. If she doesn't, I owe you five bucks."

"Deal." We shook hands, and watched as Gaston and Hercules got into a fight about who was strongest as Mr. Incredible strode in, and things finally got interesting.

~Eugene Fitzherbert, Two Plane Rides and a Smoothie Later~

"Eugene, you know I don't do television. I don't like modern–"

"Oh come on! How do you know you don't like it if you've never tried it?" I replied while sipping on a smoothie. Rapunzel sighed, and looked over at me. "Eugene, I thought you said this was our next honeymoon."

We went on another one of our wacky vacations, this time to New Zealand. It was all thanks to Punzie's art business, which paid for everything (And also her dominance in the relationship). She wasn't much of a television watcher, despite the rare appearance of That 70's Show (mostly because of Kelso, who she claimed was adorable and I envied his nose). But, I had been struck with glorious purpose during a guy's night. And I would come out on top glorious, and five bucks richer.

"Okay, no matter how much I enjoy them, that was a lie. But I had to, Punzie! Maximus was too upset to leave at home alone without a good reason! And I thought that maybe after we do this 'movie night', maybe we can try out that honeymoon–" Rapunzel groaned and sat back on the pillows. I pushed a few buttons, and the opening scene of a couple's counseling session blinked on the screen.

"What is this?"

"A movie."

"Eugene–"

"Oh come on," I wrapped an arm around her, flicking a small, green chameleon off her shoulder, "it'll be fun. It's called Mr. and Mrs. Smith, the guy at the DVD store said he learned tons of advice from it for his relationship."

"Uhuh."

We kept watching. The movie went ages back, and suddenly I was alarmed to see how intense it was. But Rapunzel didn't reply, placing handfuls of popcorn into her mouth as her attractive, olive eyes were fixed on the screen. Then the sounds of screaming and explosions came.

"Uh...honey?"

"Yeah Eugene?"

"Is this a little too much for you? Because I can change–"

"No, no. Leave it on, I'm learning."

My fingers hesitated an inch above the remote, and I left it be. Hours passed by, and we watched the mysterious, rapid but loving plot unfold. Poor John, Jane doesn't care for him. She ransacked their own house–but the teddy bear. Oh the bear does not lie. She still loves him but won't admit it. Then it returned to the scene in the beginning of the movie and ended.

"Wow," Punzie replied as she glanced over at me and tucked her hair back, "that was...actually amazing! Can we watch it again?"

I froze in awe. Johnny was right. Girls like action movies. I have so much power and fame!

"Right after I introduce you to Bruce Willis, sweetie," I remarked and flipped the channel, owing Johnny five bucks for a bet long lost. 

~~~~~~~

A/N: I love Eugene XD he'll have a semi-big role in the next book too, so be prepared for 'holy wacky mother Gothel' again. Also, down memory lane, I used to play Egyptian War many many times in my geometry class (I would sometimes play, but you would be surprised how hard some slap the deck O.O it was brutal) and I encourage you guys to do the same. It's entertaining, keeps you occupied, and gives you permission to break someone's fingers (And, even though I only did it like twice and won, it makes you feel triumphant). Keep being awesome!!