brendon urie imagines

Not A Screw-Up

I bit my lip and looked down at the mess I made. Pencils, inking pens, and acrylic paints are scattered across my desk.

I've been incredibly anxious lately, which has influenced the sudden burst of artistic impulses.

I would normally paint and draw, sure, but not like this. Not sketch after sketch after sketch of nothingness.

My foot shook under my chair due to my lack of business. I didn't expect sleep tonight. One minute without something keeping me busy and I'll be over-thinking everything. Having panic-attacks at 2am.

I already didn't want to wake Brendon up, but I was tired of drawing and reading would bore me into thinking. Songs are too sentimental for me to listen to without relating to them then falling into a deep trance of anxiety.

"Shhhhhh, it's okay, doll."

I look up to see Brendon's arms on either side of my shoulders.

"It's alright. You're with me now," Brendon said.

I must have gone into a panic-attack because of thinking too much about how to keep myself from having a panic-attack.

"Oh, t-thanks, Brendon." I mentioned, softly.

"Why don't we go to bed, darling? Unless there's something you need to talk about, right now."

I looked up and tilted my head while I thought about the question.

Perhaps, sleeping in Brendon's arms could cure my anxiety. I'll have calmed down in the morning, it'll be easier for me to talk, then.

And perhaps, Brendon knew that.

"Bed?" I suggested, wrapping my arms around Brendon's neck.

He nodded and stood up, carrying me to our shared bedroom.

With his arms wrapped around me, I quickly fell asleep. The things this boy does to me...

The next morning I woke up late, really late. Probably because sleeping hasn't been on my agenda for the past week.

Maybe an hour or two in between, naps throughout the day, but never at night.

It was when I turned on my phone that I noticed it was already 12:00. Brendon had already left for work, at the studio.

"Shit. This couldn't have gotten any worse," I muttered to myself, still laying down.

"I can't sleep and I'm constantly anxious because I never get to see Brendon. Then Brendon sees something's wrong and I finally give into sleep. The second I do that I miss my big opportunity to finally talk it out with him. Such a damn screw-up," I spoke, to no one indirectly. Speaking because I knew I had to get it out someway.

"You're not a screw-up, babe." I gasp, acknowledging the surprising appearance my boyfriend has made.

"Uh.... Brendon?"

He sighs, sitting next to me. "Darling, I took the day off work to talk to you. I didn't realize this was because of me-"

I cut him off. It didn't come out like I meant it. "Bren, it's not your fault. You have work, work that pays the bills."

"I think I may have a solution to your problem, though." Brendon said, placing his hand on my knee, gently cupping it.

"Oh, yeah? How do you think you can do that?"

"Well, I'm going on tour-"

"Problem solved! More time without you! Perfect! Thanks for fixing everything, Brendon!"

"Babe, darling, calm down. I didn't realize you were this upset. But, sweetie, I was going to tell you that I pulled a few strings, and you can go on tour with us." Brendon said, rubbing my back.

"Brendon! That's great!" I said, hugging him, dropping the sarcasm.

"I know! Isn't it?"

I smiled, still having more to say. "I'm sorry for yelling at you, I should have waited until you were done. But, I feel like I'm privileged to date you and at any moment anything I can do will ruin it. I didn't even mean to tell you that, it makes me seem clingy."

"First off, it's fine. Second, I think that's what love is. Third, you aren't clingy, obviously, because I had to buy my manager a new watch and half the money for the next album so you could come with us.", Brendon said, acting like everything he said had an equal amount of unimportance.

"Wait... you love me?", I returned my gaze to his eyes, him giving off a loving smile.

"Only if you love me."

I wrapped my arms around his neck, "Brendon! I didn't realize-oh, Brendon. I love you too! So much. So, so much."

After a long hug, I sat back down, beside him.

"Tour shopping?", I suggested.

"Okay, but I don't have a lot of money. The watch was expensive.", he joked, chuckling.

I playfully slapped his arm and giggled, before slipping into a pout which he raised his eyebrows at.

"Tour shopping it is..."

A/N: I really like this one. Hope you guys did too!

-Emma💞