Drag Me Down (h.s.) EDITING

The Conflict

1 a.m.
I belong to you

2 a.m.
I belong to you

3 a.m.
I belong to you

4 a.m.
I belong to you

5 a.m.
I belong to you

I had to be up in one hour. The only thing I could do was think about those words. Four simple words that were eating me up inside. Four words that had replayed inside my mind for hours.

After Harry had left I tried to get myself together. I told myself this changed absolutely nothing. But my mind had different ideas on what it wanted to dwell on. I had tried to distract myself by watching tv and even exercising. I even self medicated with sleeping pills. Nothing I did had worked for very long.

It was 5 a.m. and the only thing on my mind was Harry Styles. I couldn't shake the image of his sad eyes. I couldn't stop hearing his pleading voice. I knew the hell he was going through. I had been through it plenty of times because of the cycle that we always seemed to get mixed up in over and over.

I took a deep breath in and slowly let it out as my phone began to ring. I turned over to see Zayn's name lighting up the screen. Zayn. The boy who was able to help fix the broken me. The one who still wanted me even after all the messiness that was Harry and myself.

"Heyyyy." I said as I rubbed my eyes and sat up in my bed.

"Hello, love. I'm surprised you're up at this hour." I could hear him chuckle on the other end of the line. I smiled despite the hurricane of feelings rioting inside me.

"If you thought I would be asleep why did you call?" I asked as a yawn escaped me.

The line was silent for a moment before Zayn finally spoke.

"..I wanted to hear your voice. It's a lovely sound in the morning." My heart nearly fell out of my chest. My hand traveled to rest over my mouth. I think I was trying to contain the gasp of surprise. It was such a simple thing. It was an easily said statement but it meant so much.

We always said we would be honest with each other. Zayn always gifted me with his truthful unbiased words. He deserved the same in return from me.

"Zayn... I have something I should tell you." I could hear my voice shake.

"Alright..." He trailed off waiting for my response. I took a deep breath.

"Well, I'm not sure how to tell you. So, I'm just going to come right out with it.. Harry came to see me." the line was silent for several minutes. I would have thought he hung up on me but I knew he wasn't that type of person.

"I'm trying to understand why.. but I know why he would come all the way to America to see you in person.. because I'm doing the very same in less than a week. What I don't understand is why you just didn't tell me." Zayn spoke low but clear. I could tell he was trying not to get angry. I knew by the sound of his voice that he was trying to control his emotions.

"I didn't know how. I don't blame you if you never want to speak to me again. We told each other we would always be honest and I betrayed that and broke my promise." I was now standing, pacing my bedroom. My palms were sweaty and my heart was thundering in my chest. I had known Zayn for a long time. I knew who he was but I had never been involved with him romantically. I had no idea how he would react to something like this. That was the entire reason I didn't tell him about Harry coming to see me in the first place. Anyone with half a mind knew why he would come see me. I didn't want that on Zayn's mind.

"I would never stop speaking to you. I knew this would be hard. We talked about how trying this would be.. I just don't understand why you let it happen. He came all the way there and yet you never told him no one time?" Zayn said quietly. I stood still, closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. I knew this would come up.

"I wish I had an answer for you. I don't know why I didn't tell him no and I don't know why I just didn't talk to you about it." I responded as I began to pace again.

"You didn't tell him no because you still love him, Delani. Just because we are together doesn't mean feelings for other people just disappear. I know how you feel about him. The entire world knows. What else I need to know though, is if I am wasting my time. I need you to tell me right now if this is what you want. If it is I'll get on a plane tomorrow. If it's not, we need to just end whatever is going on between us." I listened intently as Zayn spoke. I could barely breath.

I stopped pacing and took a seat on the edge of my bed. I was stupid to think that this wouldn't happen. I was naïve to think I could just pop Harry up in conversation without consequence. If anyone knew how I felt about Harry it would be Zayn. Niall and Zayn had been my go to shoulders to lean on. I wanted to be with Zayn. I wanted us to work. I wanted this.

"Please get on a plane tomorrow. I want us to work. I need you."