Drag Me Down (h.s.) EDITING

Like I Would

It's okay to want me, cause I want you
Been thinkin' it over, but I prove
So stop wasting all my time, messing with my mind
It's cold-hearted, it's cold-hearted

The words bounced around inside my head as the song came to an end.

He won't touch you like I do
He, won't love you like I would
He don't know your body
He don't do you right
He won't love you like I would
Love you like I would

The words hit me like a train. The song came to an end and he looked at me cautiously. I didn't know what to say. For the first time since I had been around Zayn I was absolutely speechless. The song was amazing. The lyrics hurt. To know what he meant.. It was a blow to every angry fiber that had been fighting to be mad. I knew the emotional roller coaster I had put him on but I had never taken time to just sit and think of how it really affected him.

As I sat wrapped in my own thoughts he began to play another song for me. I sat still and listened, unsure if I could sit through another soul bearing melody.

I watched as he bopped his head and tapped his fingers. He closed his eyes and lifted his head as if he was letting the music take him to a different place.

This love is tainted
I need you and I hate it
You're caught between a dream and a movie scene
In a way, you know what I mean
When the darts just miss, I just can't resist it

That was all it took for me to rush from the room to the nearest bathroom. I couldn't stop the tears from coming. I could lie and say that I didn't know why I was so emotional about this but I knew. I was a colossal fuck up in the relationship department. I didn't know just how strongly Zayn felt about me before. I certainly knew now and it hurt. It hurt to know that I had ruined a friendship and relationship.

As I splashed cold water on my face a loud knock sounded on the door.

"Lani.. Are you alright?" Zayn asked through the door. I shut the water off and patted my face dry. I slowly walked over to the door and leaned my forehead against it. I should probably go out and see him.

"I'm fine. I just needed a minute." I still stood against the bathroom door. I knew I should just open the door and leave. Forget about this entire thing. I wasn't supposed to be here in the first place. My curiosity compelled me to allow myself to come here and listen to his songs.

"I hope you're not upset with me.. I just wanted you to hear them."

I took a deep breath and slowly let it out as I counted back from ten. I was trying to calm down. My heart was nearly beating out of my chest I was so anxious. Zayn had directly come out and told me these songs were about me. I knew Harry had written lyrics about me but never entire songs. I took another deep breath before opening the bathroom door.

"I'm not upset with you. I'm upset with myself." I said as I leaned against the doorframe with my arms crossed over my chest. I felt like maybe I could hold myself more together this way. Zayn backed up and leaned his back against the opposite wall. He stood staring at me for a few seconds before lifting his gaze to look somewhere else.

"Do you want to listen to some of the other songs on the album?" he asked sheepishly. I could tell he was trying to lighten the mood. The air around us was strained and I didn't blame him for trying. I shrugged my shoulders and pushed off the doorframe. I followed him back to the living room where he clicked a few buttons on his sound system. I waited as a new beat began to play through the speakers.