Drag Me Down (h.s.) EDITING

Niall, Oh So Practical

"Could you really stop smacking in my ear. You sound like an animal." I said into my phone. The sound of chewing proceeded to get even louder. I knew he was doing it on purpose.

"C'mon, it's not that loud." Niall said as he purposely burped into the phone. I rolled my eyes as I plopped down onto my couch. It was a Saturday night and I was absolutely bored out of my mind. So, what do I do? I call Niall. I figured he would be doing some type of tour or album thing but he wasn't. I had lucked out.

"It sounds like your a barnyard animal." I responded. I kicked one foot up on the arm of the couch and let the other fall to the floor. I'm sure to an outsider it looked stupid but I didn't care. I was comfortable.

"A what? Burn-yard? What is that? Do you burn stuff there?" Niall questioned. I let out a loud laugh as he asked more questions. I finally caught my breath long enough to explain to him what I actually said. I knew his accent was bad but apparently so was mine. Every so often we would have miscommunications and I got a good laugh. I was usually laughing at him so it wasn't nearly as fun on his side. But, he did like to laugh at himself though.

The conversation soon turned to Harry. I knew his name would eventually get brought up but I didn't really want to talk about it. Zayn and I were doing so amazingly well that I rarely thought of Harry. I saw that he was in the media a little more than normal these days. He looked a little worse for wear. In pictures I could see the stubble that seemed to be ever present as well as the dark circles that had formed underneath his eyes. It seemed he was turning into a party boy, as the media would call it.

"Ya know, he was late for rehearsals today. We were shooting a video for the new album and he just showed up late like it was no big deal. I really wish the two of you would work your shit out." Niall said. I was taken back by him putting the blame on me.

"There's nothing to work out, Niall. I told him I chose to take a step back from the ridiculous back and forth. We weren't getting anywhere. It was just hurting everyone and causing drama." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Maybe, just maybe, if I could convince one person then I would believe it myself.

It had been an entire month since the debacle with Harry went down. Zayn flew in days later and we talked. I told him everything. I told him my fears, my doubts, and how I was still trying so hard to get over Harry. Zayn completely understood where I was coming from. He encouraged me to be as open and honest as possible. The only way to move forward is with trial and error. We made so much progress in such a short amount of time. The media was still having a field day but it wasn't nearly as bad now since Harry was partying publicly in London.

"And you dating Zayn isn't causing drama? A former One Direction member and mate to all of us? I've seen enough to know the media has thoroughly run you and him both through the mud."

I couldn't argue with him. I wished I could. I wished I had a comeback. He spoke the honest truth. But, that didn't mean I was going to run back to Harry. I had feelings for him, yes. They wouldn't go away. I had tried everything. We hadn't spoken since he showed up at my apartment. Out of sight, out of mind. Well, whoever came up with that was full of shit. No matter how honest I was with Zayn, no matter how happy we were, I still couldn't shut out my feelings for Harry. What was wrong with me...

"I don't know what to say." I said as I wiped my eyes. I hadn't realized I was crying.

"Lani, the only person who knows what will make you happy is YOU. Ya gotta stop thinking of what you THINK will make you and replace it with what really WILL. I love you and I don't like seeing ya put yourself through shit. I'm sure Zayn is great to ya, but is that what you really want?" Niall spoke while I pulled myself up off the couch. I walked around my empty apartment, a million thoughts running wildly through my mind.

What I hated to admit.. Harry had my heart in a vice grip and I was helpless against it.

"I don't want to hurt anyone else..." I whispered as I plopped down right in the middle of my living room.

"The sooner you make up your mind and take action the less hurt there will be, babe."

I put my fist against my eye to try to stop the tears escaping. I didn't even know why I was crying. It wasn't like I was the one hurting. I seemed to hurt everyone around me.

"I have to figure this out. I have to make things right."

"Whatever you figure out, I'm behind you."

"Thank you, Niall. I think I'm going to go and wallow in self pity now." I heard him give a shout of laughter. It made me smile.

"Goodnight babe."

I hit the end button and tossed my phone on the floor beside me. Zayn. Harry. Zayn. Harry. Zayn. Harry.

I was in love with Harry. I had never had such intense feelings for anyone in my entire life. He left me in a jumble of mixed emotions but I couldn't deny the way he made me feel. Irreversibly in love.

Zayn was safe. He made me feel like I had someone to talk to, someone to steady me. Zayn was one person I could count on him for so much. But I wasn't insanely in love with him. I wished I was. I wished that Zayn was the one that provoked such intense feelings out of me.

I picked up my phone, standing from the floor, and made my way to my room. There were more thoughts running through my mind than I could handle but I knew one thing. I had to fix this and I had to do it now. I tossed an overnight bag onto my bed and went to yank clothes from my closet. I stuffed three days worth of clothes in my bag and zipped it up. I ran to the bathroom and grabbed my toothbrush and a toiletry bag to stuff in my backpack. I slipped on a pair of flats and threw a hoodie over my head while dialing my frequently used airline.

I would be on a plane within the hour.