Drag Me Down (h.s.) EDITING

Split Second Decisions

It had been less than 24 hours and here I was getting off of a plane at Heathrow in London. The split second decision that I needed to fix things in my life once and for all had landed me half way across the world. My anxiety are away at me as I hoisted my backpack higher and tightened my grip on my small duffel. I hadn't called anyone to let them know I was here. I should have called. I should have let someone talk me out of this crazy decision.

I stood to the side as people passed me by and dug my phone out of my pocket. I powered it on and immediately dialed Niall's number while ignoring calls and texts from my friends at home.

"Hello? Lani?" Niall immediately answered.

"Niall! Thank goodness you answered. Um, I have a huge favor to ask." I said as I bit on my thumb nail. I knew he would say yes but the closer I got to the boys the more nervous I became.

"I'll do what I can. What's up?" he asked.

"I need a place to crash. I'm at Heathrow right now." I had to raise my voice as a group of loud flight attendants walked by. I felt even more self conscious than before. I intentionally wore a baseball cap and a hoodie so I would be less likely noticed when leaving the airport.

"What! You're in London and didn't tell anyone? Of course you can stay with me!" Niall exclaimed excitedly. I knew he would at least be happy to see me. I began walking again, making my way toward the exit where cabs would be waiting out front.

"It was literally last minute. I decided to take your advice, so here I am." I said as I struggled with my bags.

"I just wish you had called me sooner. I could have picked you up. Maybe even one of the lads could have come along." he said.

"Oh, no. I don't want anyone to know I'm here. I need to talk to Zayn. Then, I'm going to head back home. One thing at a time Niall."

"Come onnnnn. I'm so tired of dealing with Harry. His moods are ridiculous!" Niall whined. I laughed. I honestly laughed out loud. Who knew Niall would be the one to complain about Harry.

"We'll talk about it when I get there. I've got to go now." I made a kissy sound and hung up the phone. I sighed in relief as a cabby helped me put my things in his trunk. I immediately rattled off Niall's address as I climbed in the backseat. I was exhausted but too nervous and excited to even think about the fact I had only slept for three hours in almost two days.

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"About freaking time!" Niall said as I dropped my bags just inside his front door. He came and gave me a bear hug that I was definitely in need of. We stood hugging each other for awhile before finally letting go. I made my way into his living room and plopped down on the couch. It was good to finally be sitting somewhere that wasn't a car or plane.

"I am the dumbest person ever. I literally got on a plane as soon as I got off the phone with you. Now, I don't even know what I'm doing." I put my head in my hands as Niall came around to sit beside me. He put his arm around me and pulled me into his chest. I sighed in relief. A sigh I didn't even know was being held inside. This is really what I needed. He was my best friend.

"This is what is gonna to happen. You're going to go talk to Zayn. You're gonna straighten all that mess out. Then, you're gonna come back here and we're gonna have a great night. We can stay in or we can go out. Screw the paps. Screw the media. Today is your day." the entire time he spoke he rubbed my back in soothing circles. I took a deep breath and sat up straight. I gave him another hug before I stood up to leave.

"You're right. Screw everything else. I'll be back. Hopefully." I smiled a real genuine smile. Niall laughed and proceeded to push me towards the door. Before I left he put his keys in my hand and pushed me out the door. I was more than a little stunned. I had only driven in London a handful of times and that was usually late at night with hardly anyone on the roads. It was practice. Now, I had Niall's keys in the middle of the day. No practice. Great. If I wasn't already a nervous wreck I sure was now.

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I stood in front of Zayn's massive front door and just stared at it. It had taken me five minutes just to get out of Niall's Range Rover and talk myself in to coming up the front steps. Now, I was still trying to convince myself that being here was a good idea. No, it wasn't a good idea. It was the most terrible idea I had ever had in my life. But, I was determined to make things right. We had been dating for two months. Years of friendship and two months worth of taking it farther than we ever had before. I couldn't let either one of us get in any deeper. I didn't want Zayn to be hurt enough to never want to speak to me again. I valued him too much for something like that to happen.

I took a deep breath, steadied my hand, and knocked on the front door. I felt like I was going to vomit on the door mat as I looked down at my feet. I was so nervous. I whipped my head up as the door opened a minute later.

A very tall, very pretty girl stood in front of me. My brain went completely and totally blank for a second before coming online again. Who was she? Why was she wearing Zayn's hoodie? My hands were shaking. This could not be what it looked like.

"May I help you?" the girl asked as she gave me a once over. I felt self conscious about my basic skinny jeans, oversized hoodie, and baseball cap. Aside from Zayn's hoodie everything she wore screamed designer.

"Gigi, babe, who is it?" Zayn said as he came up behind the girl, Gigi. He was seconds away from seeing me and I still had yet to speak. Babe? Yeah, my blood was about to be boiling.

"Some girl is here." Gigi said as Zayn stepped around her into full view. I watched as his eyes widened and his mouth fell slightly open. The amount of surprise on his face was nothing compared to the storm inside of me. I was angry, hurt, embarrassed, and taken off guard. Feelings I hadn't felt in months all because of him. Now, I felt every single one of them so intensely because of him.

"Uh, Gigi, I need to talk to her. Would you mind?" Zayn said as he stepped around her. She back away as Zayn shut the front door and stepped outside. I was still silent. I wasn't sure that I would be able to control what came out of my mouth if I decided to speak.

"Lani... What're you doing here?" he asked as I stared at him. I had honestly come here thinking I would be the one hurting him. I was so very wrong.

"I came to break up with you but I guess I should have just called since you're preoccupied with Gigi." the girl's name tasted bitter on my tongue. I saw the surprise and disbelief shadow his face once again before it disappeared.

"I, uh, I'm really sorry you had to find out like this. I don't know what to say. I'm really sorry Lani." Zayn said as he rubbed the back of his neck, a sign he was uncomfortable.

"Are you really sorry? Because from where I'm standing you don't look fucking sorry." I narrowed my eyes. My anger was starting to bubble up inside me. I wouldn't be able to control the words coming out of my mouth soon.

"Yes! I'm sorry that we couldn't just work out! I'm sorry that you can't see me through your love for Harry!" Zayn exclaimed loudly as he threw his hands in the air, clearly upset. My anger subsided a little as what he said hit me. He may have been right but seeing someone behind my back was not okay.

"I'm sorry too. I'm sorry that for a little while I believed that I could love someone else. I'm sorry that you were the one person who felt steady and safe. I'm also sorry for coming here and wasting my time. See you around Zayn." I turned on my heel and ran away. I ran as fast as I could to Niall's Range Rover as the tears started to pour from my eyes. I could hear Zayn call my name but I ignored him. There was no way I could turn back. We would never be the same. I climbed in and finally got the keys in the ignition with shaking hands. As I drove away I tried not to think of all the things Zayn and I had talked about. For a little while I had really believed I could be with someone outside of Harry and be happy.

It looks like I had gotten it all wrong.