All My Love, Lani

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by cherrishxo

by cherrishxo

Dear Harry,

I know this letter may come as a shock since we haven't spoken. I couldn't bring myself to answer any of your calls or texts when you finally could stand to talk to me again. I at least hope you're reading this. I left it on the foyer table hoping when you came home from tour that you would find it. I made sure everything was exactly as you left it when I arrived. I hated to leave but I made sure your security team knew to keep an eye on things while you were away since I would no longer be around.

I guess I thought that writing this to you would be better than an explanation in person. Or maybe I'm just a coward. I think the second option rings true. I am truly afraid that I would not be able to talk to you in person without breaking down. I am so very sorry for everything I have put you through these last five to six years. The last thing you needed was me screwing everything up. You're on your last tour before the hiatus, I know that is stressful and emotional all on it's own. Dealing with the band and your fans is so important. I know from the texts and repeated calls from Liam, Niall, and Louis that I hurt you and distracted you from being the best you could be. You are an amazing person who deserves so much better than a crazy girl who can't seem to keep her head on straight.

I hope you're well. I really do. I have deleted my social media so I could focus on myself and have no unnecessary distractions. Mainly to keep my eyes off of you. I would be compelled to reach out to you and I don't want that. We have been through enough. I hope the hiatus treats you well. Your body and soul need the rest. You have a bright light shining out of you, I would like to see it replenished. The break will be plenty of time for you to rest and stretch your wings. You are capable of so much. You all are.

I've gotten an offer at one of the Uni's here to teach as a professor. It was rather last minute and I'm sure I'll take it. Maybe one day, in the future, we will run into one another on some busy street and smile and be able to reminisce and become friends. Real friends. Because we both know we were never really just friends to begin with. There was always a magnetic pull between you and me. I think its time to sever the pull. I love you with all my heart. I always will. But, maybe, just maybe, we aren't meant to have a future. We were taught many lessons in the past years. We learned many things from being together and apart. This will serve you well with the next epic love you embark on.

Go out and enjoy the rest of your life with no worries, no guilt, and a free heart. I will always have you on my mind. Forever and always.

All my love to you,

Lani