Drag Me Down (h.s.) EDITING

The Decision

I'm sorry I missed your last day here. I would like to talk to you soon.xx

I've called a few times I hope everything is okay.xx

Lani, I'm really worried. Call me back.xx

Can we talk soon? Please?.xx

I read through the messages over and over again. I thought maybe I could get some type of clue. None of the messages said that he missed me or loved me. None of the messages eluded to the fact that the conversation we would have would be going in my favor. It had been a week since I arrived back home in the states and I hadn't contacted him. I was mad at first. Now, I was just weary of the conversation we would have.

I sat on my couch flipping channels waiting on Lux to get home. I had worked the entire week as well as attend classes and all I wanted to do was relax. I was still feeling the jet lag. I was also feeling antisocial and emotional over this mess with Harry. He was thousands of miles away yet I was still anxious. All I had to do was pick up the phone. Dialing a number and talking on the phone was not hard. At least to normal people it wasn't hard. I stopped channel surfing and stared at my phone in my lap.

I picked up my phone and was in the process of finding Harry's name when a loud knock had me jumping out of my skin. I got up and tossed my phone on the couch. That call could certainly wait until later. He was probably asleep anyway.

Excuses

There was another loud knock just before I made my way over to unlock the door.

"I'm coming, I'm coming." I said as I unbolted the last lock and opened the door. I was speechless. I looked up to find Harry standing in front of me. I couldn't contain the surprise that I'm sure was written all over my face. I shouldn't have answered the door. My stomach was immediately in knots. I really should have not answered the door.

"Hi." he said as he stood in front of me. He pulled on his bottom lip with his fingers nervously.

"Uh, hi. Hey, come in." I said as I stepped out of the way to allow him inside my small apartment. What the hell.

"So,... I didn't know what else to do."

I stared at him. He didn't know what else to do? Who just hops on a plane just because someone won't answer a few texts and calls? Apparently Harry freaking Styles. I look at him to my phone lying on the couch and back to him. This couldn't be real. I had to have fallen asleep. I'm having a bizarre dream that I will wake up from any minute. Any. Minute.

"Wha- how- like what?" I mumbled. I rubbed my hands over my eyes and looked up at him again. He was still there. This time with a small, amused smile forming on his lips.

"I got on a plane. I got a cab here. I knocked at your door. Now, I'm standing here. I think that covers it all, yeah?" he said wearing a full blown grin at this point. I still stood staring at him. This was insane. He was insane.

"Well." I took a step back and finally decided I needed to take a seat on the couch. He followed me and sat at the opposite end. The smile had vanished and was replaced by a very thoughtful look. A thoughtful look that I knew wasn't going to bode well. I had, had a feeling and I knew I wasn't wrong.

"Lani, I came here to see you, to talk to you. I also wanted to apologize that I missed your last day. The lads say you had a great night." Harry spoke, still playing with his bottom lip. I sat silently and just nodded. I watched as he sighed.

"I just.. I came here.. I wanted to apologize. This is much harder than I thought it ever would be. I just want you to know that I had every intention of being with you, but I just feel like our time has passed. The entire week you stayed.. The time we spent together. It was truly amazing and I would never take it back or change anything about it. I guess what I'm trying to say is that.. I've decided to stay with Lilah." he spoke low and slow. His voice reminded me of a thousand different places and times where we talked. This was by far took the prize of being the worst.

I felt as if the air had been knocked out of me. An unwanted set of words invaded my mind. It was all I could hear.

Not all good things end happily.

Zayn had been right. He had known this was a possibility. Of course I had known as well. I had shoved it deep down and tried to avoid. It was the entire reason I hadn't made contact with Harry in over a week. I knew the moment he cancelled our plans my last day in London that Lilah would win this. Harry and I had run our course and the time was up. Who knew there were expiration dates on love. I wanted to laugh at my absurd thoughts and cry at the same time. I hadn't really been ready for this. I spent too much time denying I was in love with him and then too much time wanting him. I hadn't dwelled on the fact I wouldn't get him.

"Lani?" Harry set his hand on my arm looking worried. I hadn't realized I still had yet to speak.

"I think you should go." I croaked the words out. I felt as if my mouth and throat were made of sandpaper.

I moved my arm where he would no longer be touching me. I broke all contact with him and looked toward the door. I couldn't look at him. I couldn't focus on his or it would sink in. If I looked at him my heart would shatter in my chest. I would break down. So, I sat unmoving and unblinking facing away from him. It took a minute for him to get up. I knew him well enough to know he wanted to say something more. But, he also knew me well enough to know I wouldn't utter another word. When he reached the door I moved my gaze from the door to my lap. I didn't want to see him go.

He softly whispered goodbye as he shut the door behind him.