One day, Prudence went to the dump, like she often did, and found an old rowboat. She thought she could use it for recreational purposes in the sewage lake. She found the oars and even a life jacket- but she wasn't going to be using that lifejacket, because Prudence is a rebel. She thought she could row out farther into the lake than she normally could go in order to catch a plethora of nice dead fish.
She dragged the heavy rowboat and the oars to the lake. She placed her bag of fish inside the boat. She began to row her boat to the middle of the lake. She sat in her boat waiting for the fish.
She waited. And waited. And continued waiting.
Six thirty minute periods later, Prudence was sad. She thought the dead fish didn't care about her. She was then angry because the dead fish didn't care about her.
But suddenly, a giant, plump, dead fish floated to the surface of the lake, right in front of the rowboat. She was so happy, she began shaking vigorously. This caused the rowboat to capsize.
Prudence never learned to swim. She had one swimming lesson as a child, but she was kicked out because she deliberately kicked her swimming instructor in the bladder seven times.
Now she was in a lake, with no lifejacket, and no ability to swim.
She splashed around frantically, but that didn't help. Then she realized something:
Her bag of decaying fish was able to float.
She shoved the giant fish she found inside, and swam to shore with the flotation device.
The next day she swam with her bag of fish to get the rowboat. She ate the rowboat for dinner.
YOU ARE READING
The Adventures of Prudence Funk and Her Bag of Fish
HumorA collection of stories about Prudence, a smelly woman who lives by a sewage lake and loves a bag of fish.
