The Adventures of Prudence Funk and Her Bag of Fish

26-A Very Prudence Thanksgiving

One fine November afternoon, Prudence was eating a delicious skunk that she found floating in the sewage lake. It must have gotten into the lake and died instantly. It was the day before thanksgiving, and Prudence, as usual, had no plans. In the past, her family tried to organize thanksgiving plans with her, but Prudence had zero interest.

However, Prudence felt like she had a lot to be thankful for. She was thankful for her sewage lake, her cardboard box, her toddler sized mattress, and most of all, her beautiful bag of fish.

Prudence finished her skunk meal and smelled her bag of fish. She was excited for thanksgiving. Usually she raided garbage cans for food on thanksgiving night, where she found a ton of food that people throw out after their meal. She was excited to eat a large, disgusting meal for her thanksgiving dinner.

Prudence wanted to get a full sized turkey. Usually she found scraps of turkey in garbage cans, but this year Prudence wanted to get a big ass turkey.

She sat by her cardboard box, contemplating her meal, when she saw someone who looked familiar.

Prudence couldn't believe her eyeballs. It was her childhood neighbor, Audrey!

Oh, how Prudence hated Audrey as a kid. She lived next door to Prudence and was one year younger than Prudence. Once Audrey moved in when Prudence was ten, she annoyed Prudence like nobody else. In reality, Audrey was just a nice person, but Prudence despised her.

Audrey loved all things girly, and wore fashionable clothing and makeup and always had her hair did. Prudence freaking hated it. Prudence thought about these horrifying childhood memories.

Prudence's face contorted in disgust as she remembered how Audrey would always say, "Hi there Prudence!" when they were kids. It was so gross. Prudence would make a gross face at her, and Audrey would just look at her awkwardly as Prudence walked away. And sometimes she would ask that gross question, "Hey Prudence, you want to hang out with me?" It was so irritating to Prudence.

Audrey saw Prudence, and so Prudence tried to hide in her cardboard box. But it was too late. She had been spotted.

Audrey walked up to the box. "Oh my goodness! Hi Prudence! It's so nice to see you!" Audrey said in a friendly manner.

Prudence said nothing and remained in her cardboard box. She looked up at Audrey, who was wearing bright blue eyeshadow and purple eyeliner. Prudence nearly regurgitated at her makeup.

"How have you been all these years?" Audrey asked.

"Mmklshmmgmdnskajrraaagsuwj!" Prudence mumbled. She was not happy.

"Oh...ok then. Well, thanksgiving is tomorrow. Do you have any plans?"

"NO AUDREY!" Prudence said.

"Oh my gosh, really? Oh how unfortunate! Well, I have a great idea! Why don't you come to my house for thanksgiving? My fiancé, his parents, my parents, and my brother will be there, but that's it. My parents will be so happy to see you again!"

Prudence growled a little bit.

"Oh, please Prudence, it will be great fun! We're going to have a wonderful meal, with the stuffing and the cranberry sauce and the giant turkey we bought..."

Prudence thought for a moment. She had no desire to eat thanksgiving with these disgusting human beings, but she did want that turkey. Prudence decided that maybe she could steal the turkey! Then it would be the best thanksgiving ever!

After a while Audrey was still blabbering away, but Prudence was not paying attention. All she heard was "...so doesn't that sound nice? Let's have Thanksgiving together!"