One morning, Prudence decided to go to the city to look for some trash cans to rummage through. She picked up her bag of fish, smelled it for a few minutes, and off she went.
As she walked through the city, a woman walked past her. This woman smelled the rotten stench of Prudence and her bag of fish and gagged. She had to stop for a moment to process the odor that she had just experienced. When she calmed down, she called out at Prudence, "take a bath!"
Prudence turned her head towards the woman. "IS YOU DISRESPECTING ME? BIATCH!" Prudence yelled. The woman was insulted and began to weep. Prudence laughed.
But because Prudence had turned to look at the woman, she was distracted. As she walked, she stubbed her toe on a metal mailbox.
"HOLY MOTHER OF POTATOES AND ARTICHOKES!" She shrieked.
The pain. Oh the pain was freakin excruciating. Prudence could not believe the pain in her toe.
Prudence believed this was the woman's fault. "You made me stub my toe!" She yelled. She sprinted towards the woman and crashed right into her. The woman was flown back five hundred feet before she crashed into a building and exploded.
"Well, that's done." Prudence said. She walked away and soon found a lovely garbage can. She stuck her head inside and smelled the McDonalds bags and the old gum and the candy wrappers and all of the other beautiful garbage that was so perfectly contained in this garbage can. Why, it was such an unfathomable, wonderful, stupefying aroma, that Prudence was in garbage heaven.
She ate the contents of the garbage can and went home.
YOU ARE READING
The Adventures of Prudence Funk and Her Bag of Fish
UmorismoA collection of stories about Prudence, a smelly woman who lives by a sewage lake and loves a bag of fish.
