The Adventures of Prudence Funk and Her Bag of Fish

23-Prudence's Epic Vacation Part 3

Prudence was so freakin' excited she ran around waving her bag of fish in the air because she couldn't care.

She went to stay in a 5 star hotel called "Muy Bonita Hotel y Muy Fancy." She was greeted by a friendly receptionist at the front desk. It turns out that this hotel cost approximately $1000 a night.

Prudence went to her room. It was so clean and beautiful. Prudence laid on the bed and it felt like a plushy cushion of mayonnaise.

Then she smelled something. It was something she hated the smell of.

Cleanliness.

It smelled like linen and flowers and all things clean and fresh. Prudence found this to be absolutely disgusting. She placed her bag of fish by her nose and deeply inhaled to clear her nose of the putrid smell of a clean room.

After 45 minutes, Prudence realized it was really hot in Cancun. She decided to go to the beach.

She went to the beach and rested her head on her bag of fish in the sand. She fell asleep.

She was woken up by someone and found an old woman who should not have been wearing a bikini looking at her.

"EXCUSE ME BUT YOU SMELL DREADFUL AND YOU ARE AWFULLY CLOSE TO MY BLANKET AND THE WIND IS PICKING UP YOUR STINK AND IT'S BLOWING INTO MY FACE!" The woman said. This shows exactly how horrific Prudence smelled.

Prudence sighed. She was angry that she was awoken from her nap. "WHY DOES EVERYBODY COMPLAIN BOUT ME EVERY TIME I TRY TO RELAX PEOPLE ALWAYS BE SO MEAN TO ME! GET OUT OF MY FACE, YOU WRINKLY MESS!" Prudence said.

The woman said some nasty words to Prudence then went away and moved her blanket.

Prudence was quite irritated. She took her warm bag of fish, which had been basking in the hot sun, and smelled the hot, rotten fish inside. It helped her feel a little better. She fell back asleep, her head resting upon her bag of fish.

She woke up about a half hour later, and decided to go swimming in the ocean. She brought her bag of fish with her. She floated in the water with her bag of fish, occasionally taking a whiff of the contents.

It was a windy day, and the waves were very large. Prudence was so busy daydreaming about fish that she didn't see the huge wave coming towards her. She was smacked down by that wave, and rose from the water with water up her snotty nose and a bruise on her arm. But she was mostly concerned about one thing.

Her bag of fish had been swept away.

"NOOOO MY BABY FISH BAG! I GOTTA SAVE MY BABIES!"

She leaped into the water and swam for her bag of fish, screaming loudly. The lifeguard blew the whistle and jumped in to save the "baby."

"OH SAVE MY BABY!" Prudence said, climbing out of the water.

The lifeguard got out of the water with Prudence's dearest "baby" The lifeguard looked at what he held in his hand. "Wait, this isn't a baby. This is just a bag of..." he opened the bag and looked inside "...OH MY CREAM CHEESE EWW! I don't want this garbage!" He threw it back in the water.

Prudence saw this and lost her freaking shit. She screamed and ran into the water, grabbing her bag of fish before it got swept away again. She got out of the water, ran towards the lifeguard and smacked him with her bag of fish, beating his ugly face into the sand.

Prudence heard police cars and realized she needed to get out of there. Prudence had never successfully been caught by the police, and Prudence did not want that to end. She ran far away from the beach.