Pinto Lesbeans

Emotions, or What's the Point?

Happy
That I have friends
To spend the summer with
That I'm finally feeling better
That I have time to relax
That I'm in a stable relationship
That I'm finally stable myself

Sad
That some of my friends don't get along
That sometimes I worry myself sick
That my phone is broken

Confused
As to why I get so angry
As to what is happening right now
As to why I can't make sense of who to call a friend or foe

Guilty
That I tell people things because they want me to
Because that never helps anyone
Does it?
That I really messed up
And a fiasco exploded
Out of my mistakes

Angry
That I can't calm myself down
That Trump exists
That I can't shut up
That I look really weird
That I messed up again
That Bernie is basically done
That I even exist because why??
That people don't even seem to care sometimes
That milk!!!
That...

But why do I even care?
Sometimes I wish I could just shut out all the emotions
Because the bad far outweighs the good
Sometimes I wish
That I couldn't even feel what's happening
Because what's the point anymore?
What's the point of trying to be happy,
When I get dragged down
Time and time again
What's the point of trying to manage to be okay
When someone comes along and knocks me down?
Sometimes I wish the emotions could just disappear
But I keep getting tempted
By a little moment of happy laughter
Or a cute text
Or a little victory
But really,
What's the point?