Let Me Love You ♡ Jastin ♡ {Hiatus}

∞Imagination∞

Maybe this will be the night that we kiss for the first time or is that just me and my imagination

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~Flashback~

"Cmon Justin don't leave me here alone" he clasped his hands together in a begging manner

I giggled

"I have to get home. My mom is going to be worried."  I said looking down at my fingers playing with them nervously not looking back at him. I knew if I looked at his eyes I'd cave. Then there was no going home for me even if I desperately wanted to stay with him.

"Please. The stars are so beautiful today" he pouted. Honestly it was so adorable. Just looking at him made me want to jump into his arms and never let go.

I looked up at the stars. I have to admit it. He wasn't wrong they were astonishing tonight.

"Please Jay I know you want to" he said raising one of his eyebrows as he smirked at me

Fuck. I didn't want to leave him

"Fine but only a little while longer okay then I really got to get going"

"Come here" he said patting the space next to him on the grass

I sat down next to him as he pulled me closer to his side. I felt a slight tingle rise throughout me. Jason then grabbed my hand gently locking them together feeling an immediate warmth spread throughout my whole body. Then all of a sudden he places his head on my shoulder as he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath letting it out soon after.

Without even realizing it I noticed I was holding in my breath barely moving afraid I'd disturb his peace and quiet

I stared down at his beautiful features. The way his lips curved up the slightest bit showing just how content he was at the moment. I couldn't pull myself to look away from his flawless face, but sooner or later I did.

I looked back at the stars while letting a smile appear on my face. I never wanted this moment to end

~flashback over~

Sometimes remembering can be brutal it triggers those violent thoughts that you've kept locked away for so long. It's like reopening a wound. It stings to have to relive that pain, but it's the pain that makes you feel alive. It reminds me I'm still capable of feeling something even if it is just pain.

Having Jason just pop up back in my life just like that has been such an emotional roller coaster. I can't eat, I can't sleep. I can't even get him off my mind.

I've barely talked to him afraid of what to say, afraid of what I'd do.

I don't know what to do. Someone please tell me what to do or think. I can't do this on my own.

It hurts so much. I didn't expect to see him ever again. It was hard enough not seeing him to begin with, but now having him so close to me everyday knowing we barely even speak hurts like even more.

How could this happened. I didn't think I'd ever get to see him again. I've missed him. I can't say the same about him.

I hadn't realized I was crying until I saw the drops of tear stains on my blanket. It was finally holiday break meaning two weeks of no school and no Jason. 

I threw myself back on the pillow behind me taking in a deep breath. I was frustrated. I was feeling helpless.

I grabbed a pillow that laid beside me and threw it over my face before letting out a muffled scream into the pillow. It sort of helped.