Let Me Love You ♡ Jastin ♡ {Hiatus}

∞No More Smiles∞

There's so much history in my head
The people I've left
The ones that I've kept

The rest of the week couldn't have gone by any slower. I thought I'd have to take a day off because I was just not feeling it.

I tried so hard to forget about the events that took place at the beginning of the week but I just couldn't.

They kept replaying themselves over and over again in my mind. It's as if they're were freshly placed there. Every detail of that day is as clear as day.

Jason tried calling and texting but I refused to reply. Not only that but he tried talking to me a couple times at school after I told him I didn't want to be near him. I guess he didn't understand that I needed to be left alone.

I wasn't playing around when I said I didn't want to talk to him. After a while he gave up. I knew he would. Like he'd ever continue to fight for me. I'm confusing aren't I? I want this but I also want that.

Does it matter? I deserve to feel this way he played with me not the other way around.

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Friday was finally over with. Thank you.

Sam was coming home with me today. Sam decided it would be best if she stayed the night with me to make sure I was alright. Was I?

I was afraid that I'd break. Afraid that I'd let go of everything I've worked so hard for.

She knew about every thing that happened. To say she was mad was not at all accurate. If it wasn't for me who knows what she would have done to Jason. Honestly I didn't want her doing anything to Jason not because I cared about his well being, but because I cared about Sam. I didn't want her to get I trouble for something I no longer wanted part in. I was done with it.

When we got home we immediately got comfortable on my bed. I didn't really like doing anything my mind was elsewhere.

"Justin are you okay?"

"I'm fine" I simply stated

"C'mon you can't lie to me. I know you to well to believe that crap."

"I don't want to talk about it Sam please just drop it" I said facing the tv screen. At this point I didn't want to look or talk to anyone.

"You can't keep these feelings inside. They will eat you alive. You need to tell me what you're feeling maybe there's a way I can help you." she said reaching out for my hand but I pulled it back

"Don't you get it you can't do anything. I'm sorry for lashing out like this Sam I really am, but I can't do this. I'm not always going to be up for talking. Something are better left unsaid than spoken."

I understood her point I really did. All she wanted was to be there for me and I appreciate that but like I said there are things I'd rather keep to myself. Just because she thought she had me figured out didn't necessarily mean that she knew me completely. That's the thing she never could.

Everyone seems to think that they know me. That I am a piece of glass you can see right through but that's not the case.

"Justin please I just want you to speak to me"

"Sam I-I can't do this. It hurts okay. Why would he do this to me?" I was on the verge of tears. I could feel my eyes start to sting and any second now I'd be a mess