Closing Time

26

Cydthealee

At that moment when I opened my mouth, I knew it was a mistake. A mistake I should have been more careful with. I felt Ricci's hand pulled away from his grasp on my waist. As I opened my eyes to look at him all I saw was disappointment.

"What?" he asked trying to still be calm but his tone said otherwise.

"Ricci.." I didn't know what to say to him.

"Kim?" he asked me obviously he is confused. He doesn't have any idea why I just said that name. "I kissed you but all you could say is Kim?"

I reached out for his hand but he pulled it away from me. How dumb could I be right now? Standing in front of me is technically still my boyfriend, and when he kissed me I chose to say the name of someone who I wanted to forget.

"Let me explain." I tried again. "Ricci please, it's not what you think."

"Oh please Thea." he quickly countered. "Please explain because right now I don't really know what to think."

Without any other word we both went back to the house where we stayed for the night. I could not even look at him. Ewan ko pero hindi ko rin alam kung ano ang dapat kong sabihin sa kanya. What am I supposed to say to him after I mumbled another girl's name while I was kissing him? He led me to where he went to sleep last night. Nang pumasok ako sa room niya his things were still scattered on the floor. It is as messy as our relationship. His bag was wide open and I could see his things were not properly packed at nagulo gulo na sa loob. He chose to sit in his bed and so did I. From what I could see in his face, he doesn't look mad. He looks more like he is confused. Bakit naman hindi eh ako nga mismo ay naguguluhan sa sarili ko. We both didn't speak for a long time. For sure he is waiting for me to say something. Anything at this point. I want to explain everything to him slowly, detail by detail. But my stupid mouth just ruined my plan. Yet again it had to say the wrong things at the wrong time.

"I kissed Kim the other day."

Maybe this is better. To be straight forward than to go around the bush. Yes it is a bit more painful but there is nothing else to be done. At the end of the day, it still happened. It cannot be undone.

Ricci shut his eyes. It was a weird reaction for me, I was expecting more of a shocked or frustrated response from him. Still I don't know how to follow up that statement. It was a pretty self explanatory sentence so I decided to let him think for a while. The silence was deadly. As calming as the waves sound from the outside, the intensity in the room is on its highest. There's no way out, no room for even a single sigh.

Before one of us got the chance to speak up another word, a phone suddenly rang. It was a sign of relief, not just for me but for the both of us. Ricci quickly stood up and went straight to his bag. It's obvious that he has not used his phone since yesterday because it was still inside his bag.

"Hello." he spoke to his phone with a tone of uncertainty. "Who's this?"

Hindi ko na siya sinubukang tingnan. His eyes is the last thing I want to see right now. His eyes always looked fierce. Perhaps fiercer right now.

"Oh, hello." he greeted the other line with a lighter tone, siguro ay kilala na niya kung sino yung tumatawag. "Yeah kasama ko siya."

Napatingin ako sakanya and he is also starring at me na. Probably he is refering to me when he said kasama ko siya.

"You wanna talk to her?" he asked.

Before I allowed him to speak again tinanong ko kung sino yung kausap niya. He signalled me that it was Joy. I was not in the mood to talk to any of them right now. Not that I don't want to though, baka kasi may something important sila sabihin but I can't talk to them right now. Not when I am in this situation with Ricci.