Take Me ( MRog )

[2] ~ Cloudy Days

George was the summer sun, his rays of light breaking through my winter storm and melting all the snow until spring came. But right now, George's sunlight was covered by dark heavy clouds. Sobs ripped up through his throat as he clung to my small frame. His shoulders shook as he clung to me. I felt sick to my stomach. That bitch hurt my best friend and I was gonna hurt her.

I held George close, his sobs eventually dissolving into tired whimpers. He began pulling up my shirt and kissing my bruised and scarred sides. He moved up towards my neck and up to my lips. As he was about to kiss me I pulled away.

" George we agreed to stop that. I can't be your rebound. You can't expect me to fuck you and then watch you leave for another girl. " I whispered.

His eyes glazed over and tears came to his eyes again. I broke.

" Okay fine just this once, " I murmured and I let him kiss me.

I let him undress me and graze his warm hands against my frigid body because this is what I wanted. This is always what I wanted. I loved George and I loved having him hold me and fuck me and do whatever the hell he wants with me as long as it makes him happy.

In the end, no matter how much it hurt me, I would rather have him like this then not have him at all. It's become a regular occurrence, us having sex and holding each other like we were a couple. In fact for the next few days after this last one we repeated the same routine, fucking and then making out until we're too tired to stay up any more.

One day we were out with the lads, we were at a pizza place sitting down and eating our pizza. I barely picked at mine as I developed an overwhelming urge to throw up since we arrived. George's eyes had been on a bird this whole time, and she would peak over at him and giggle and wave. She were pretty that's a definite.

Every grin that crossed his face broke me a bit more inside. I should be used to this. George isn't mine and he never will be. I just thought I might be able to hold his hand a bit longer before he moved on to a new winter storm. Or maybe this one was a fall wind, blowing leaves around the ground and dancing among the dying trees.

I felt hurt by George's behavior but I should have been used to this. He always claimed that he was straight. He would never date me. That our late night activities were just for fun and distraction. I'd smile and go along with it though it started to leave an empty pit in my stomach.

I'd stopped eating days ago when he started saying those words again to back up his argument about us, about our relationship or friendship as he called it. I pushed my pizza aside to be cleaned up as we stood and got ready to leave. I saw George go over to that girl and get her number before we left towards the house. Ross and Adam left us to go to their own places leaving George and I alone.

This time, he didn't reach for my arm but instead kept his warm hands hidden in his pockets with his fingers curled around the piece of paper he'd received. We made it back to the house and I went inside, climbing the stairs three at a time and locking myself in my room. I pulled a bottle of red wine out on my mini fridge and tugged the cork out of the half done bottle. I sipped the liquid feeling a small smile invade my depression.

I finished the bottle quickly and sighed as now I had nothing to do. I almost reached for the stash of cocaine I had hidden in my drawer but in the end I didn't. I promised George I'd stop doing drugs a long time ago. Instead I reached for my pack of cigarettes, feeling the old paper packaging beneath my hands.

I need a new pack. I pulled out a cigarette, putting it in between my frozen lips and lighting it. The harsh smoke filled my tar covered lung as I inhaled, the sickly sweet stench invading my nose and making me scrunch my nose up. I blew out the smoke feeling calm with each inhale of the toxic smoke. It's almost beautiful, the way the smoke reaches up towards the ceiling and clings to it like a long lost lover.

I'd nearly finished my pack when I heard a knock at my bedroom door.

" Matty, I'm going out. I'll be back later love, " George's voice called out from behind the wooden door.

I said nothing in reply, simply continued to smoke the fag between my lips. George sighed and I could hear him leave, the front door slamming. My heart felt heavy.

" Prolly goin to see that bird he is, " I mumbled to myself, stumbling over words as I spoke.

I put out the cigarette and went into my drawer reaching for the coke I had stashed. I looked at the white powder, already feeling a rush of adrenaline as I opened the pack and began to set up lines of cocaine.

Hey...a little self destruction never hurt anybody.