I guess it's because it's pre-period week lol, but I've been super emotional and cried almost every day this week.
I think this has been the best first week of school and worst first week of school. but I'm not here to talk about the school aspect.
do you know how much it hurts when your boyfriend says he thinks you're losing interest in him?
a lot. it hurts a lot.
he didn't even notice that I was crying while we were on the phone... but anyways, we always call eachother at night, but today we were both kinda busy so we didn't really talk much, but I tried while his replies were so slow. I texted him around 11:20-ish and I tried so hard to stay up. it was 12:00 and I considered texting him good morning like we usually do, but I didn't. I stayed on my phone and then I got bored. at 12:01, locked it.
I didn't mean to fall asleep, but I did. I woke up around 5:30 and was super disoriented. I didn't know I fell asleep, I was actually sleeping on my phone (oops). but then I checked it.
at 12:02 he texted back. seconds after I locked my phone.
I fall asleep before or during a call so I always feel bad, but if I had maybe texted him good morning or waited a few seconds, maybe I wouldn't be crying.
and then I saw that 45 minutes later, he tried to call me. he wanted to call me so bad. and you know what? I was stupid enough to try and call him back. he's fast asleep at 5:45 in the morning and probably upset with me.
this whole time I'm just blaming this on myself, but
why should he get mad that I'm tired? I never get mad when he falls asleep.
why am I so upset that I missed his text? it's his fault for not texting back for almost thirty minutes.
you know, I'm not really feeling a lot of the love.
yesterday was our 3 month. I know it's kinda stupid, but we "celebrate" those little milestones.
he didn't say anything or post anything until I did. why? ever since we started going out, I feel like he just figures that he's got what he wants and doesn't care about me much anymore. he doesn't hold my hand much anymore, he barely kisses me, it just seems like he doesn't care. I know this can't be true, but bare with me- it's pre-period week.
and the worst part is, it hurts even more thinking about losing him.
I'm beating myself up for it.
just a few seconds difference.
maybe it's just period emotions.
god, I hope so.
anyways, thanks for letting me vent, wattpad.
and thanks for listening, y'all.
