Past Memories

That isn't an Excuse

Tomboy of the Pack

Chapter Twenty Six

Rae's POV

I sat staring at the blank, cobbled wall of Foxglove's house. My body was sunk into the sofa, wrapped in a jumper that happened to be Mason's, the cuffs of the sleeves falling over my hands, only showing the tops of my fingers. The pain was still dimly running around my body, but at least one thing's for sure; I know the truth.

I know the argument that caused Lucy's death. I know how I was captured by Blake, I've learnt who he is and what he wants. And I know what Mason did, I know why we don't talk much anymore, or why we stopped talking. He turned into the Big Bad Alpha that people know him as- he grew up, not wanting a tomboy running after his tail.

*"Steady" I felt the grasp of the seven year old Alpha on my forearms, "Watch the ball, watch your feet go into the ball." He was helping me practise for football, but every time I tried, I failed. I glared at him before rolling my eyes, watching the ball before slamming my foot against it, straight into my Dad's stomach. He groaned, caving in.

"Nice shot Rae." I heard my Dad mumbled. Mason laughed behind me, soon followed by everyone else.*

I flinched from the memory, trying to ignore the voices behind me.

"What's wrong with her." Mason's hushed voice asked.

"This is normal for people who didn't know anything about their past." Foxglove sighed, "I think you should take her home."

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We were now sat in Mason's Audi. The hood covered my head, covering my unshed tears, covering my messy hair in which the hairband had broke. My curls also covered some of my face. My knees were up against my chest as I stared straight in front of me, my arms wrapped around my shins.

We had been travelling through the night and it was now one o'clock in the morning, an hour away from home. The car suddenly pulled up to the edge of a mountain that looked over the city. The city lights brightened the area, making it look more magical. The moon and stars were out on this clear night, making the view even more perfect.

My door opened, Mason standing outside. "Come on."

Sighing, I undone my seatbelt, removing my arms from my legs before standing outside. Shivering slightly at the sudden coldness, I pulled the jumper tighter around me.

"Say something." Mason mumbled.

I knew he had seen my past as well as Foxglove. He knew about my time when Blake captured me, he knew about the death of Lucy. And I don't think he even needed reminding about how he hurt me.

"Why" I choked. I had never cried in front of anyone like this, ever. This was the first time and I hated it. I felt so weak and defenseless. A rouge could come along right now and I wouldn't care if he killed me.

Mason pulled me into his arms, "I'm sorry."

I leaned against him, hiding my tears from plain sight. "I didn't want you hurt."

I was dragged along until Mason sat on his car hood, laying me down next to him. I turned away. Saying that he didn't want me hurt wasn't an excuse to what he did.

"Why? Why do you care if I got hurt?" I hissed, my hoodie hiding my tears.

"Because I couldn't watch you be hurt by me anymore. I hurt you too much when you were younger. I didn't want anything about me to hurt you when you were older." Mason sighed.

"That isn't an excuse."

"Well its the best I got." he growled lowly.

I sniffed, unfazed by his outburst. If he wants to kill me, I won't stop him. I don't want to be here anymore. My life has come to the extent where I have no one left to rely on. Sure I have my friends and my brother, but it isn't someone's shoulder I want to lie on. I thought Mason was a good guy, but the past proved me wrong once again. I can't trust anyone.

"Look," Mason huffed, "I'm sorry okay? I'm sorry that I didn't want you hurt. I'm sorry I pushed you away and I'm sorry before being such a dick all the way to now."

I turned to look at him, straightening one leg and bending the other, "But I don't want anything to happen to you, Rae. You're too important to the pack, to your family. For crying out loud, Rae, you're too important for me to lose." My eyes widened as that left he lips.

"I can't stand the thought of you being hurt, mentally or physically. That's why I've always protected you. I've never wanted to let you down and I've always wanted to be around you. But once I found out what I could do, I didn't want you to be hurt by me, so I pushed you away. But I pushed you too far and you started hating me. And I'm sorry for that, Rae"

I've never seen Mason like this. He almost looked broken, like he's regretted everything he's ever done wrong to me.

"Karma's a bitch, huh?" I whispered, watching a Mason chuckled.

It wasn't until I saw our close proximity that he really meant what he had just said.  One of his legs were over mine as he's hand pulled my waist closer to his, before his eyes looked down to my lips.

My hands where on his chest, my eyes watching his every move as he leaned closer and closer. But it would never happen. I heard the ringtone of his phone and Mason growled darkly. He removed himself from me, letting me get a breath of fresh air that I needed. I sat up straight, putting my hands on my head.

I was going to let him kiss me, again! What is wrong with me?! I'm letting him do this, I'm letting him get to me, letting him take control of me. I'm meant to be a tomboy! And here I am, almost letting the bad boy of the school, the player, the jerk, the jock, the Alpha try and kiss me!

"What!" I looked over to Mason, watching his eyes widen before he looked at me, "We'll be there as soon as we can." He turned off his phone before looking at me, "Rae, lets go."

"What's up?" I asked, slipping back in the car.

"Your Dad's home"