Slipping Through My Fingers~ Beau Brooks

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

BEAU

Two hours had passed. I hadn't heard a word from anyone. I knew I didn't have the guts to do this in the first place.

My head was telling me to jump,

My heart was telling me to be patient someone will come.

I'd never felt so confused before...ever.

I decided to log onto Instagram to see if any of my 'friends' had been up to something. My whole news feed was filled with pictures of Jai,Maz,Sam,Luke,James,Daniel and Zoe.

I wished at times like this I didn't exist. I wish I could go back to three months ago tell Zoe how much I loved her and be back to the bright bubbly person I was. I wished so many things, but I know none of my wishes will never come true. All I could think about was that night, with Zoe. When we were watching old Janoskians outtakes. I wished I could blank that memory. But I couldn't. No matter how hard I tried. Thinking about her made me happy. But sometimes I hated Zoe. I hated her for having the power to use me, because I was so in love with her.

*flashback*

Zoe was laughing at my old Janoskians videos. I walked downstairs to get popcorn. And when I walked back upstairs we took a selfie for Instagram.

"All the Zeau shippers are gonna go crazy for this" I smiled

"Maybe not for long though.." she smirked

I gave her a confused look.

"What do you mean?" I asked

Zoey shrugged her shoulders looking to the ground.

"I don't know..maybe they'll ship me with someone else soon" she smirked

I froze for a second.

"Zoe...are you dating somebody?" I asked

She didn't answer me. Instead she looked at me. With a sparkle in her deep blue eyes. A sparkle I hadn't seen since she's been with her last boyfriend.

"You are! I know you are!" I fake smiled. I couldn't let her know it was hurting me. Well not now anyway.

She looked at me with a serious look on her face, but then let a smile spread across her face. She nodded and managed to whisper "Yes"

Even though it felt like someone stabbed a knife through my stomach and ripped around my stomach tearing all my vital organs, I managed to keep myself fake smiling.

"Who's the lucky guy?" I winked

"Do I know him?" I asked

"Well, you could say that." She replied smirking.

My eyes began to grow wider.

"Is it one of my friends?" I asked

She nodded like crazy. Now it felt like someone was whipping out the knife from my stomach. And stabbing it back through. Around ten million times repeatedly.

"Please tell me!!" I pretended to be happy for her and shook her.

"Okay, okay! I'll tell you. Beau stop" she laughed.

I let go of her.

"It's...mhm.. Jai" She smiled like crazy.

My mouth grew wide. I was in complete and utter shock. My whole world felt like it had just come down.

By some miracle. I didn't lose my temper. I didn't run away crying. I didn't. I managed to mutter the words.

"Come here Zoe! That's great" I pulled her into my arms feeling my heart becoming a little more hurt every second.

We were just about finished the videos so I just decided to head home.

When I got back to my flat I was greeted by a familiar feeling...silence. I was alone again. My heart felt like it was completely broken. Into so many pieces. My stomach was also churning. I fell down onto the floor, letting myself cry into my already tear stained carpet. My body felt like it was finished, it was shutting down. In complete. I lost her, she had slipped away from me. She was now somebody else's...that somebody else was my brother. Never had I felt so lonely.

***end of flashback***

I wiped away the heavy tears from my eyes. It was time for me to listen to my head, not my heart, which kept breaking.

I stood up. Feeling my whole body shiver. This was it. It was time for me to end it all.

I took small steps towards the edge of the cliff. I used to love Glenroy Cliffs. It was always associated with Good memory's. Not anymore, I suppose.

I looked down to see the calm water, I felt a whiff of peace come over my body. I was ready for this. I stretched my arms out, curved my back. Ready to fall into the unknown...

Then I heard it.

"BEAU STOP!!!"