Slipping Through My Fingers~ Beau Brooks

Chapter 1:

Zoe

It had been weeks since I'd seen Beau so I thought I'd go along to his flat and surprise him with cookies. It felt like he'd grown apart from me ever since I told him the news of me and Jai. Come to think of it, he'd grown apart from all of the other Janoskians and his family too.

As I walked up to his apartment, a strange feeling had came over me. I guess I was just nervous to see how Beau would react to me showing up so unexpectedly.

When I reached Beaus apartment, I could see that his apartment door was slightly open. I felt really confused as to why. Beau never left his front door open.

His apartment was silent, parts of broken glass had been scattered all over the floor. My first thought was the flat had been broken into, but most of his items were still there. I was about to call Beau off my iPhone, thinking it was a practical joke. Just as I whipped out my iPhone, my eyes caught hold of a letter; siting on his kitchen top. It was a piece of paper folded in half with Zoey written on it. I walked over to the piece of paper. Scared to know what was inside. With my hands shaking, I managed to open the letter;

To Zoey,

We both know I'm not a serious person, and I'm not someone that's good at putting their feelings into words. But I'm gonna give it a go...

Meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me. I never truly realised how much of an impact someone could have on my life,until you showed up.

Your my bestfriend and you deserve to know the truth;

Zoe, I'm head over heels in love with you. No matter what. Since the day I met you, I always tried to deny it, hide it, try push my feelings away, make myself fall out of love with you and it didn't work. It's impossible.

I love your smile, your personality, your beauty and what you think are "flaws" but honestly your perfect in every way. I was ready to tell you Zoey. I was about to confess my never-ending love for you, tell you exactly how much you mean to me. But you told me words, words that I've been trying to avoid for years and years. You had found someone else, my brother Jai. Who knew about all my love for you.

Will I tell you the worst thing about this?

Not that he was my brother, or that he betrayed my trust, or even he knew how I felt. The worst thing was out of all the girls in the world, he chose you. I actually thought I had a chance with you Zoe.

I can't do this anymore. I can't make youtube videos. Knowing that my brother is better looking and has the most beautiful girl that I've ever set eyes on, as a girlfriend.

He has managed to take every friend I have ever made and morphed them into his own.

I think it's time I forget about Jai, Luke, Janoskians, Youtube and well..you. All I can say is goodbye.

This is the end of me. I can't live knowing the girl that stole my heart and gave it to my brother.

This world...it's too much for me. I'm not wanted or needed around here anymore. When you find this letter...I'll hopefully be gone.

Goodbye Zoey. I hope Jai treats you like your the best thing the world has ever seen. You deserve more than anyone, to live a life of pure happiness. I would've given you the world and more, if that was what you wanted. You didn't want me though, and I understand now I cannot change that, no matter how hard I try. When Jai holds your hand, he better hold it tight. Because he's holding my world.

Maybe I'll see you in heaven one day. I'll never forget you.

This may sound cheesy...but I love you

From Beau

x

I kept re reading the letter over and over and over again, then it hit me. There was a possibility that at this very moment Beau was dead, gone. And it was all my fault...

I could feel my breathing becoming heaver and quicker. It was happening. A panic attack was ready to kick in.

How could he do this? He honestly had no clue, I loved Beau more then life it's self. I had just never realised it until now, this very moment. Until he was gone.

It suddenly hit me, I was in love with Beau Brooks. I was in love with his goofy smile, his perfect personality and his looks. I was in love with him, now he's gone..and it's all my fault.

The room started to feel darker, smaller. My vision started to become blurry. This didn't feel like an ordinary panic attack. It felt like something worse

All I could feel was my body hit the floor, cutting my arms on pieces of broken glass. Nothing could compare to the pain I was feeling inside. Beau was gone and I was the one that made him kill himself..