Leaving Me

Chapter 36

I figured that picture would suite this chapter.

TRIGGER WARNING!!!! Please be careful reading this chapter. I don't want you guys to be upset.

Franky's POV:

I don't know how I'm letting myself do this again. I've been clean for so long but here I am on my bathroom floor, home alone with my my old friend in my hand. I'm about to turn back the clock to the time I was dangerously depressed.

I took apart my leg shaving razor just to find some relief. You'd think I have enough common sense to not buy $15 razors anymore.

I've just been sitting on my bathroom floor for about an hour now, maybe longer? I am going over everything that has happened in the time period when first met Luke.

I will never forget the day I told him about my car being vandalized from a school bully. He was so pissed off by that and he stood up for me later on.

I knew from that day on forth that he was truly a great guy.

Or even the time he took me to the beach for the first time ever. Seeing the beach for the first time was so beautiful, I will never forget how I felt at that moment.

The beach will always be special to me. The beach is where Luke asked me to be his girlfriend. What a perfect evening that was.

God how this one boy has changed me for the good. But here I am still on my bathroom floor about to break my promise I made with Luke.

He saw my cuts on the beach and thats when he made me promise not to do this ever again.

But fuck it promises are broken all the time...right?

Even if that isn't true I have to do this. I can't keep my depressing thoughts all to myself, this is my way of releasing them.

I slowly start to bring the blade to my wrist. All of my old scares are almost gone or healed. Now I'm here to make new ones.

I take a deep breath just to begin.

1. For letting yourself do this again.
2. Because I deserve this.
3. Because why the fuck not.
4.5.6.7.8.9.10.

How could something be so wrong yet feel so right? Or possibly even the opposite.

There is so much blood. The blood is dripping onto my bare legs and the white tiles of my clean bathroom floor. This is a yet to familiar sight to me.

Good you deserve to be a mess on the floor. Look at you, you are disgusting. So much for promises you worthless bitch.

"Shut up!"

You can't push me away that easily. I am you so I will never go away. I do know who will go away though, Luke. If he finds out about what kind of a piece of shit you have turned yourself back into he will surely leave. No one wants to be with a person like you.