The Lonely Swan

Chapter 14

Wasn't going to update this till Monday but I couldn't wait to hear what you think of this chapter :) P.s don't hate me....

Author POV 

Today was the day, the day Emma Swan's fate would be decided. She sighed heavily as they approached the courthouse "It's going to be okay love." Killian said wrapping his arm around her waist. She lay her head on his shoulder "I hope so." Emma still being a minor made this a closed court. Meaning Killian couldn't be there with her. Emma had begged Jason to let him in but there was nothing he could do.

Emma gave Killian a needy kiss before being taken into the courtroom. There was no doubt in the judges' mind that Jackie was not fit to be Emma's mother, but now the problem was if Emma was to be put back into the system or into Lily's care. Killian and Liam were waiting outside, Killian was fidgeting and driving Liam spare "Killian! Calm down!" He yells, Killian stands "Your not my father, you can't tell me what to bloody do!"

"I'm not trying to be Killian! I'm just telling you to calm down for fuck sack!" Liam shouts back. "You sure about that! You are fucking our mother!!" Silence filled the hallway, Killian had been holding in so much emotions and couldn't take in any more. "I just want a bloody normal life!" He cries out falling to the ground. The courtroom doors open as Emma runs out, tears welling in her eyes "Couldn't you keep it together for 5 minutes! They heard you! And now they think Lily isn't a suitable guardian for me! They're taking me away!" Emma shouts.

Killian's heart hurt so badly, he had wrecked everything. All because he let his emotions get to him, he reached up just wanting to hold her. She pulled her body away, the tears flowing "You said it would be okay! But just like everything in my life, my happy ending was taken away!!" Emma ran away in that moment unable to stand to look at Killian anymore.

"Wait! Swan!" Killian shouts standing up, she turns back "If your happy ending was taken away that means you found it, what was it?" Killian asked. Emma sighed wiping away a tear "Don't you know Killian? It's you" And with that Emma was taken away, yet again being put back into the system. Without even being able to say goodbye.

Killian laid on her bed tears soaking her pillow, he breathed in the scent of her. Feeling at a complete loss. It was all his fault, he was so useless just as his father always said. He didn't even know if he had the will to live anymore. Maybe death would be better but it scared him. He had locked himself away for days, not being able to face his friends and family. David would most likely beat him to a pulp, which didn't actually sound that bad to him.

It had been a week since she had gone, no one had heard from her or what happened. Something about it being a legal thing and could not give any information about her whereabouts. Killian hadn't left her room once in the week. Radcliffe was the only person he would open the door for, normally only for food. Not that he ate much.

The pain was getting worse and worse in his chest, needing something to numb the pain. He would sneak down the stairs about midnight, and went into his father's office. No one had been in there since the day he attacked Lily. Killian quietly searched the room in hopes of finding some form of alcohol. Stashed at the very back of a cabinet he found a bottle of rum. Quickly downing it, feeling the burn down his throat.

He sat on the ground, back against his father's deck. The pain was still there, maybe even worse. He sighed "I just wanna feel numb! Just like-" It hit them like a tonne of bricks. He searched the office once more "Damn it!" He sighed. He looks to his father computer, maybe just maybe. Sitting in his father's chair he turned it on, hoping, praying there was no lock.

Of course, there was, he sighed. He took a moment, wondering what the password could be. He tried and tried again, over and over with no luck. He didn't know why but he tried once more ready for disappointment. 'Killian' and to his amazement, it unlocked, it was very confusing why would his father use his name? He hated Killian. But in that moment he pushed the thought away, quickly searching his father's contacts.

And there it was, her number. He dialed hoping for his own sanity she was still in town or at least not far away. "Hello Milah speaking?" She said. Killian sighed hearing her voice. After everything, all the fighting to get away from her. Here he was about to beg her to ruin him all over. "It's me." Is all he said, Milah smiled "I'm in New York, I'll message you where and when to meet." He nods 'not that she can see' and hangs up. Taking Liam's keys and setting off into the night.

Liam and Lily awoke the next morning heading down to the kitchen for breakfast "How is he?" Lily asked Radcliffe as the walked in. "Hopefully this will tell you Madam Lily," He said handing her a letter. Tears in her eyes, knowing he had ran away. Liam came around her, holding her waist, giving her a kiss on the cheek as she reluctantly opens it.

Mum,

I'm sorry to leave in the middle of the night, but I can't do this anymore. I need to feel some type of purpose in life. And if that is only being used for an others pleasure that is something I can deal with. I just want the pain gone, to feel nothing anymore. I love you and Liam so much and wish no harm to you. And I'm sorry, sorry I couldn't be a better son. I've let everyone down you, Liam, Emma even father. He was right, I'm worthless and I always will be.

Goodbye.