Before I Go

9: Moments Later

Emma's POV

That dream meant everything to me. After I woke up, something was different, I felt different. It's not like I changed my perspective from a moment to another, but I realized something really important: I wanted to live, I wanted to stay and be happy. I was in so much pain, but I wanted to live. I was afraid to move on, but It was the only way to cure my heart.
Since my suicide attempt, mom took me to a psychologist to talk about my problems, but I wasn't in disposition to talk. After the dream, I went to the doctor ready to talk and cry out my feelings. Like predicted, Dr. James was a nice lady that helped me with my anger and depression. I started an antidepressant treatment, and the change started.

*6 months later*
"I can't believe you're starting college next monday! I'm so excited for my little baby!" Mom said to me while packing my last bag.
I was moving out with Lindsey to start college, it turned out that my application was still acceptable after the accident, so I could reapply for the following semester.
"Yeah, I can't believe it either..." I said. Six months ago, I was nearly dying and that changed for good, but yet something felt missing "...But... you know this is not how I wanted it to be... I still... I just feel a little bit incomplete". A part of me wanted to cry, but the stronger part held me to stay calm.
"Oh, honey..." Mom hugged me and I remembered him. There was no day that I didn't think of Tyler, but after some time I understood that I needed to move on, so I held the idea of growing up, living and succeeding for him. He wanted that, I knew.
"This is what he would want" I said "I'm ready to start school" I smiled and we continued packing and cleaning my room.

*

Moving out of my old house was harder than I expected. Being an adult meant a lot of changes that I never realized because I was so dumb and busy thinking about how perfect I thought school and life would be. I had to clean by myself, buy food, cook, work, do homework and still get some sleep (more that I normally did living as a child).
Because Lindsey was all day at school and all evening working and doing some other activities, I didn't see her around that often so I felt lonely and homesick.
I thought I would have to be alone like this in regular basis, until school started and something happened that changed my life even more...

Finally, after two months of absence I could finally update!! Since school is over and I finished the Med Lab assistant program, I lost the track of things and I had no new goals, I started to feel this story as someone else's. At last, I got my life together and I made new goals. I wanted to finish this story and I have another one on mind when I finish this one! There are maybe 5-7 chapters left for this.
P.S. Selena Gomez hasn't released the official audio to "Feel Me", and I've been dying to hear it! I'm still waiting...