All My Fault [The Walking Dead fanfic]

Tear Soaked Pillows

I woke. My pillow was soaked with tears. My dreams were simply memories playing in my mind like a movie. Some were dreams, others were nightmares. I wiped my face dry and met the group in the cell block. Beth was taking care of the baby. Jordan was with Carl and Sophia. Luke was in the corner, sharpening his knife... Was he planning to kill me? I sat next to Elise on the end of the table. Leo was with Missy, the girl I didn't entirely meet.

"You gonna eat?" I ask him.

"Already did, with Missy," Leo replied.

I heard Jordan telling Carl and Sophia about Lori and that she cut her open. I refused to listen and left the cell block. I noticed the absence of T-Dog and Axel. I turned to Carol who was taking some cabinets inside.

"Where is Maggie? And Axel?" I ask.

"They... Didn't make it," Carol hesitated to answer.

It was then and there that I saw Hershal and Beth burying Maggie's remains. Elise came to me and held my hand.

"I saw it happen. It was awful," Elise said.

I nodded to her and looked past the fences of the prison.

"Maybe you should leave," Elise told me.

"W-what?"

"Well, when you got here, Lori died. And Maggie and Axel," She reminded me.

"So... You don't want me here?" I asked.

"Don't make me say it," Elise said.

"Do you love me?" I ask her.

"To be honest, no. I do not love you," She said to me.

I paused for a moment and said, "I'll leave before dark."

***********************************************

My heart was shattered in more ways than one. I snuck past everybody in the cell block but there were two people that noticed me attempting to escape,

"What are you doing?" Jordan asked.

There was no point in lying, "I'm leaving."

"Can we come?" Carl asked.

"Wait, woah! We should check with Rick," Jordan stated.

"He won't care," Carl mumbled.

Jordan did not argue any more. So Carl, Jordan and I left the prison without any goodbyes. I wish I could have at least had a longer talk with some of them. I took out my knife and shanked the first two walkers we saw. Carl and Jordan took out the rest. We climbed a tree and made ourselves comfy.

"We'll spend the night up here," I said.

Jordan frowned with dissatisfactory.

"Would you rather sleep down there with the walkers?" I joke.

She raised her eyebrows once she found a spot she liked and said, "It's actually quite comfy."

"Good. Cause we may be sleeping like this for a while," I laugh.

Carl and Jordan both moaned and I smiled. But I was not particularly happy. Elise does not love me. And I lost Michonne and Kailey. But I still had hope since I still had people by my side. Before shutting my eyes I glanced quickly at both of them.

"Good night," I whispered.