Colorful (Adopted by Emblem3)

Chapter 24: Stare straight-faced

Song of the chapter: Do It Now, Remember it later by: Sleeping with Sirens.

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Ryder's POV:

Drew sat down next to me and sighed.

"I know Wes constantly talked while he was in here, so you can talk now." Drew said.

"There's nothing to talk about." I said, resting my back on the wall.

"Will you at least tell me what's wrong?" He asked.

"Fine." I sighed, sitting up a bit.

"It's an outlet. It destracts me from my emotional pain. I feel as if nobody cares. You guys say you care. I know you have more important things to care about. Everytime I purge I feel like I'm becoming somewhat a better person. I see fat that isn't really there. When I look into the mirror, I see a girl with a ton of scars, with alot of weight on her. In reality I'm probably already skin and bone. But, I'll never see myself the way people say they see me. People get curious and self harm without a reason. They feel pain. I honestly love it. The blood that trickles down my legs, stomach, or arms, feels good to me. It may sound completely insane but, that's really how I feel. There has been times where I was about to self harm or purge but, I stopped myself for the people I actually care about." I spilled.

Drew wipped a silent tear from his cheek before asking, "Who'd you stop for?"

"You guys, Ryan, my cousins, my mom and pewdiepie. All those bands I like too." I flatly said.

"Pewdiepie?" Drew asked.

"Yeah he's this really funny guy on youtube. He plays video games and films himself playing them. You can see his face and the game. His videos are the only thing that can really make me laugh anymore. I like live for his videos. I've always wanted to have an actually bro-fist." I said, smiling, remembering the time he decided to play High School Musical Sing-It.

"What the hell are you talking about a bro-fist?" Drew asked.

"He calls his subscribers and fans 'bros' and at the end of most of his videos he put a fist to the camera and is like "here comes the bro-fist". He's my favorite." I said, mentally laughing.

"Alright. I gotta go call my dad, promise you won't do anything stupid while I'm gone?" He asked.

"Promise." I said.

Now to watch Pewdiepie.

After about an hour of watching pewdiepie it was 9:30.

I decided to shower, as I probably smell like straight up ass.

I walked into the bathroom, turned on the shower, sat my phone onto the iHome, pressing shuffle. Do It Now, Remember It Later by Sleeping with Sirens played. Oh shut the hell up this is my fucking jam.

I undressed, stepping into the shower, under the warm water.

"Whoa oh oh, whoa oh
Whoa oh oh, whoa oh
Whoa oh oh, whoa oh
Whoa oh oh, whoa oh

Seen this place before
back when I was young and I had something more to prove
Now that I'm older I've seen all the things that I want
and I'm ready to make my move

We'll stare straight-faced, don't hesitate
See, why would we want to make you bastards wait
Thank god, I got this chance, now I can say
So now we'll say, we'll say
We're gonna do what we want

Remember when they said that what we want can never be done
When it all comes falling down
We'll do what we want to
Said we'll do what we want to
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Remember when they said that what we want can never be done
Well look who's laughing now
We'll do what we want to
Said we'll do what we want to
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Whoa oh oh, whoa oh
Whoa oh oh, whoa oh

Oh my, don't they hate to see us try
Come on say what you think
It won't mean a thing
In the end we're gonna be just fine

We'll stare straight-faced, don't hesitate
See, why would we want to make you bastards wait
Thank god, I got this chance, now I can say
So now we'll say, we'll say
We're gonna do what we want

Remember when they said that what we want can never be done
When it all comes falling down
We'll do what we want to
Said we'll do what we want to
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Remember when they said that what we want can never be done
Well look who's laughing now
We'll do what we want to
Said we'll do what we want to
Yeah, yeah, yeah

We'll do what we want
Right now
Come on, come on
With or without you
We will never regret that
Don't you cross the line
Don't you cross that line

We'll do what we want
Right now
Come on, come on
With or without you
We will never regret that
Don't you cross the line
Don't you cross that line

Remember when they said that what we want can never be done
When it all comes crashing down
We'll do what we want to
Said we'll do what we want to
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Remember when they said that what we want can never be done
When it all comes falling down
We'll do what we want to
Said we'll do what we want to
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Remember when they said that what we want can never be done
Well look who's laughing now
We'll do what we want to
Said we'll do what we want to
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Whoa oh oh, whoa oh
Whoa oh oh, whoa oh" I sang my heart out. That is my mother fucking jam.

I got out, blow dried my hair, wrapped my body in a towel as I walked to my wardrobe to find something to wear.

I slid on black basketball shorts and a grey tank.

I put my hair into a messy bun and slid into bed and faded off to sleep.

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OKAY IF YOUVE NEVER WATCHED PEWDIEPIE YOU SERIOUSLY NEED TO LOOK HIM UP ON YOUTUBE HES FUCKING HILARIOUS

Plus, I'm sorry if this chapter and the last one was triggering. I personally suffer from self harm and feel free to talk to me if you need someone to talk to. I'm always here.


I love you all xx