Learning To Fall

eighteen

I pull up to Calum's house going speeds my dad would've killed me for. It was worth it, I had to see if he was okay. And I had to know what happened. Why was his first instinct to start a fight? Who threw the first punch? Why did I listen to Calum and get drunk last night? Catching my breath, I make my way to the front door. Finally, I manage to knock. Within three knocks, someone opens the door.

"Hey, Andy. Here to see Calum?" David, Calum's father, guesses. I nod slowly, and he beckons me to come in. "He's in his room, just go up. Are you staying for dinner?" He asks, obviously not comprehending my frazzled state.

"I, um, I'm not sure," I answer, not knowing exactly what time it was at the moment. David flashes his signature grin and leaves the room. Smiling to myself, I go up the stairs and head into Calum's room, hoping he was at least a little decent. I open the door, and there he is; a sleeping, bruised up, Calum.

"Hey," I whisper, coming to sit on the ground by his bed. His face was basically hanging off of the bed, so I take the opportunity to look at his injuries. A busted lip, black eye, and another cluster of bruises on his cheekbone. I sigh. "Calum, why?"

"Because Michael's a dick," Calum mumbles sleepily. I'm shocked by his reply, so I look at him. "I mean it, Andy. He acts like he owns all of the kids that are like him. And he hurt you," He argues, coming to stand. I take in a breath before replying.

"You know how I feel about you fighting my battles, Cal." I answer, and he shakes his head. "What? I could've handled it."

"No, Andy. You were drunk off your ass and decided to run away. So no, you couldn't of handled it." He snaps.

"Say what's on your mind." I demand, hearing Calum's scoff.

"You want me to speak my mind? Fine, I will. You say you can fight your own battles, but you're wrong. You can't even face your own goddamn problems." He snarls.

"So that's what you really think? That I'm too much of a bitch to deal with my own problems? Really, Calum?"

"Yes, really! All you do is run! You run from your problems, and you run from your feelings! Tell me, how long have you wanted to kiss Michael? Before last night?" Calum questions, and I shake my head.

"That's none of your damn business!" I snap.

"It is, you wanna know why?" He yells back, standing up and fully awake.

"What?"

"Because I'm in fucking love with you Andy! Yeah, haven't noticed have you? Well, there it is." His tone softens, and I step away. How did Rachel see it, but I didn't?

"Calum, I-"

"You didn't know. Yeah, kinda figured. That's how it always goes," He dismisses. I go to walk towards him on his spot on his bed, but he holds up a hand. "Just go, Andy."

So I do.

>>

"I so fucking told you!" Rachel exclaims, sitting on the counter as I'm washing dishes. It was a slow day, and we were closing.

"I just don't know what to do," I grumble, finishing the dishes and wiping my hands.

"God, this is like a good rom com," She continues, and I shake my head.

"How? Where's the comedy in this?" I keep grumbling, stuffing my things in my bag. Michael didn't come in for his shift today, so I had to do an extra heap of dishes. Luckily, I just finished.

"Will you calm down? It's all gonna be okay," The older woman tells me, but I continue to shake my head.

"I fucked things up with both of my best friends, how is everything gonna be okay?"

"Come to the lodge with me this weekend. You know you want to," She sings, and a smile finds its way to my face. That would be easy, to just get away for the weekend. The only problem is that the weekend couldn't come fast enough, and I had a whole week of school in the way. "And don't say you have to ask Jack, because we all know that he loves me, so just come with me. We'll be back before your birthday," Rachel continues to offer as I finish with my bag and turn to her.

"Fine."

"Yay! I knew I made the reservations for some reason," Rachel cheers, causing me to laugh. "Let's go, kid."

>>

When we pull up, Calum is sitting on my porch. Rachel and I exchange glances before I get out of the car.

"Be careful, use your pepper spray if you have to," She says, then drives off. I approach the porch warily, and that's when I realize; this is Calum. He would never hurt me.

"Hey Cal," I greet, like I'm approaching a ticking time bomb. He scoots over and I take a seat next to him.

"Andy, I'm sorry. I don't know why I said those things," He sighs, hanging his head low.

"Because they're true?" I laugh, knocking my knee against his. The boy smiles a little and chuckles.

"Only a little," Calum continues. I snort unattractively.

"Please, I'm a little bitch when it comes to facing my problems," I state, and he laughs a real laugh this time.

"You handle your problems as well as Dean Winchester does his," Calum jokes, and we both break into laughter this time. When it dies down, he speaks again. "I don't want us to be mad at each other during the holidays."

"Me either, but Cal, we can't pretend you didn't just drop a bomb on me."

"I know." Calum runs a hand through his hair, sighing. There's another silence, probably us both trying to figure out what to do.

"We can be friends from far away until things die down," I offer, and he shakes his head.

"That's a terrible idea."

"Well, Calum, I don't know what to do," I almost whine. "We can't just ignore this."

"I can, I've been ignoring it for a year. I just can't stand not being friends with you. It's physically impossible for me to do Ands,"

"I just, I need time Cal. I don't know how I feel, maybe this is a sign that we need to give each other space. We'll still talk, we just won't be glued to the other's side," I say, and it's hard for me to get out. I couldn't tell a random stranger my daily schedule without including Calum. All of a sudden, he stands up. Sighing, I stand next to him.

"How long?" Cal asks, and I shrug. He hugs me like it's the last time, and pulls away with a small smile that I know isn't real. "Andy, do something you've never done and listen to your heart. Please." And with one last hug, he's gone.