Learning To Fall

epilogue

The rest of junior year flies by, and the same goes for senior year. Until spring break. Up until then, the school year was spent mostly enrolling for colleges and relaxing as a group on weekends, and I wouldn't of had it any other way. However, spring break was when things changed. During spring break, Michael was in a crash that killed two other passengers in his car, and the lone driver in the other car. Luke was in the other car. Calum would've been if I hadn't of kept him behind to study for some French test we had the following week.

Now, we were sitting in the Hemmings' living room, the lot of the Hemmings family and the rest of our group. It was a week after the incident, and nobody knew what to do. The funeral was tomorrow, and it still felt like he wasn't really gone. Like he was going to come downstairs from his room and ask Calum if he wanted to play a game of Fifa. Or, walk in the room from the kitchen with a bowl of snacks for whatever movie we were going to watch next. Hell, maybe he'd even walk in from the laundry room with a basket full of clothes and sit on the couch to help his mom start folding them. Either way, we were all so desperate for Luke to be here. Where he was supposed to be.

"Hey," Someone's nudging me. I look up from the ground to see a disheveled Calum. "Everyone's left, you've been sitting here for two hours without saying anything. Do you wanna get going?" He questions, his voice a whisper as if not to startle me. With a nod, I stand. As we walk out to Calum's Jeep, we make small conversation.

"How are you holding up?" The brunette asks, and I shrug.

"Not good. What about you?" I reply. Calum shakes his head.

"Not very good at all." I'm silent after that as I buckle my seat belt. "We'll get through this, Ands." I stubbornly stare at the dashboard.

"He was supposed to be here. Cal, he was supposed to graduate with us. You guys were gonna go to the same college, be roommates, and major in the same thing. And now he's gone. Just like that, and that's all because I wanted something to eat and he volunteered. It should've been me, Calum. It's all my fault," I cry, the tears that dried earlier making a return as I make the truth be heard. If I hadn't of said anything about being hungry, Luke wouldn't of left and he wouldn't of been killed in the crash caused by Michael's drunken friend. It was entirely my fault that Luke was dead.

"Andy, do you know how much that hurts to hear you say? Can you imagine how hard it would be to wake up and realize that my best friend isn't here anymore? Sure, Luke and I were close, but Andy, you and I are closer. You will forever be one of the most important people in my life, no matter what happens. And to even imagine life without you hurts me. There's so many people that care about you, and so many people that would be hurting right now if it were you instead of Luke that night. Andy, you have to stop telling yourself that it was your fault. You and I both know that once Luke sets his mind to something, he does it. You couldn't of known that the other car was going to come out of nowhere and hit him. And you couldn't of stopped it, either. Right now the best we can do is try to remember Luke, and go on the way he'd want us to; doing things to make ourselves happy, and being happy together as a group again. We owe it to him." Calum croaks, and it's now that I realize the boy has been crying. It all clicks in my head that Calum, every time we've gathered to mourn since the accident, has remained in a blank state to comfort others. All of his emotions were coming out now, and I was going to be here for him. For everyone.

>>

The reception is beautiful and respectful. Ashton recites a poem he wrote about Luke, and Liz makes a speech. I was volunteered to make a speech, and I was set to go next. Was I prepared? No. Was I going to do this for Luke? Yes. So, when I approach the front, I take a deep breath and begin.

"Life is like an elevator. Sometimes, more than I'd like to admit, we have to stop and let people off. It's inevitable; you can't prevent them from their destination. In our days together, Luke was not only a lover to me, but a best friend. As much as I didn't want him to go, I couldn't prevent Luke from getting off at his stop. And even though our days together were shortened, Luke gave me moments to cherish forever. And I am grateful." I keep my voice steady although sometimes it's not, letting few tears escape. At the end, there's respectful silence. I make my way to where I previously stood, and Calum envelopes me in a hug. The rest of the funeral goes by, and then I find myself once again in Calum's Jeep. He looks over at me.

"Are you sure you want to do this? We can back out now." He offers, though we both know he's bluffing.

"It's too late for that. Everyone's already prepped for it anyway." I remind him, and the boy nods. "We're doing this for Luke, he was going to do it anyway." I reassure him, and this time Calum starts the car.

>>

"Your turn," Ashton informs me, and I nod. Calum just finished, and he was impressed with the result. I sit down on the leather chair, only moving to flinch when the cold sterilization material reaches my skin. I flinch by accident when the needle finally touches my skin, but make it through to the end. Once the artist finishes, she offers a kind smile and pats my shoulder. Next is Cara, then Nova, and finally is Jules. After that, we pay. Then, we gather at the park across the street after getting food.

"To Luke," Nova adds, tilting her soda cup up. We all do the same, the plastic cups meeting in the air as one more tribute to Luke. The rest of the afternoon is spent reminiscing, our laughs travelling through the air as we think about the fun times we all had together. The sky begins to darken, and the group slowly begins to diminish as we tire. It's finally down to Ashton, Calum, and I. They were talking about something else, while I was staring down at the new addition to my wrist. It was a simple black tattoo, of a group of six birds on a branch. Then, there was one more that was made to look as if they were flying off of the branch, leaving the group to find something new.

Like Luke did.

Later on that night, I'm in one of Luke's pullovers staring up at the ceiling. The pink stars were looking down at me reassuringly. That's when I realize; a new addition had been added to the stars. There, in the corner of the ceiling. An eggshell moon glowed brighter than the pink stars, and it's almost like the blank space of the corner had been waiting for Luke's moon to tie it all together. It was a symbol to our life. Freshman year, Luke stumbled into my life and shook up everything. He left an impact in my life like no one else. Luke Hemmings taught me what it was like, learning to fall for someone again. My life was okay, but Luke tied it all together, like the glowing moon did for all of the previous pink stars. Luke had left, but he made sure to give me my own galaxy.