Learning To Fall

five years later

To Andy :

I know you probably won't even open this, considering that you read the name on the front of the letter. I'm hoping that you did. You deserve many things, but right now I'm finally supplying you an apology and explanation. First, I'll give you my reasons for being an idiot.

When I first saw you, I knew that you were it. I knew that I was going to fall for you. So, my sick mind decided to get rid of you and Luke's relationship. You know what happens after that. And I know I should've told you, about Cecily, about everything. I just wanted you in every way, no matter what. And I know that that's no excuse, there's no excuse for me breaking your heart. So that's why I stopped trying to fight for you. That's why I made my third consecutive mistake. I didn't mean for anyone to get hurt, but I'm glad you and Luke found each other again. Until, of course, that was shattered.

And that brings me to my explanation. What happened that night when Luke left the world. I know that you know the driver of the other car was drunk; Liz sued him. But what you don't know is that I caused it. I caused it and I'm so sorry.

That night, I wanted to go on a drive. It was stupid, and I should've just gone to bed. But I was so set on going for a midnight drive, so of course Zach, Megan, and Aaron agreed. And as a result, Aaron, Megan, and Luke died. Andy, you know me. I'm absolutely brilliant at handling emotions in the wrong way. So, on the day I got out of the hospital, instead of going to the Hemmings household, I went home with my mom and made moving plans. And during his funeral, I was packing up our memories into a brown box. I couldn't even bring myself to go to graduation, but instead I visited Luke's grave along with Aaron and Megan's graves. I heard that Ashton made valedictorian, though, and he made a kickass speech. I also heard that Luke was honored the way he should've been. Then, I left the town and never came back. Why? Because I'm a coward, and I didn't want to face what I'd done. So, instead of doing the right thing, I ran away like a scared little boy.

By this time, you probably want to crumble up this letter and burn it. Or, you're asking why it took me so long to write you this. In truth, Andy, I don't know. I guess I wasn't one hundred percent ready to admit what I'd done. Because of my actions, one of the most deserving people in the world died. Andy, you and Luke should've been engaged with a big golden retriever and a townhouse by this time. But now, you probably wake up with nightmares from that night. I know I do. Something happened, though. And that's why I think I was so ready to send this letter.

Scarlett got pregnant a year after I left. So, we did the stupid thing and got married to cover it up. Within three months, we were divorced and I had full custody of the child. Now, this kid is four, and my mom isn't looking too good. She's on her last legs, Ands. And I don't want him to go into kindergarten without a woman in his life. And before you freak out, no, I'm not asking you to do something stupid like throw away your life and marry me. But I am asking you to meet us. I moved back here a few months ago, so we could meet in the local park.

His name is Lucas, Luke for short. Andy, he looks just like him. He inherited my blonde hair and pale skin, while Scarlett gave him her pale blue eyes. You'd love him. He's so smart, and he's amazed by everything. And he shares your love of dogs. The other day, I took him to the dog park with our Corgi named Han, and he was so amazed by all of the other dogs. He practically lit up.

If you don't want to meet us, I understand and I'll leave you alone. But if you do, we'll be at the park all day on Sunday. If not, I hope you're living a better life Andy.

Sincerely,
Michael Clifford.

>>

I want to feel upset when I first read the letter. And, I am. I let myself cry and scream and refuse to meet Michael and the child. But that only lasts for so long. Once the tears subsided and my voice went hoarse, I sat down to think about it. Then, I tried to call any one of the girls. Each time it went to voicemail; which was understandable, seeing as Cara was on a honeymoon, but Jules should've been done babysitting and I knew it was past morning in Nova's new hometown of Seattle. As a last resort, I try Calum. And even then my best friend doesn't answer the phone (he may of been at work, anyway.) So there was one more option.