Learning To Fall

seventeen

I run into Calum on the way out. Literally, I run into Calum.

"You okay?" He asks, clearly sober. I shake my head vigorously and start pulling him down the stairs. Soon enough, we're outside. A lot of the people realized it was too cold to party and went inside, so it was just me and Cal. I sigh before telling him the story. And when I do, he looks down.

"You have to talk to him." Calum decides.

"No." I immediately say. The boy across from me pulls me in and we make eye contact.

"You have to, Andy. We can't just sit here and have things be awkward. Your birthday is two weeks from now, and school is Monday. It's only Friday night. Do you really want it to be awkward?" He asks, and my head shakes. I fucked up so much, and that meant I had to fix it. So, I stand up.

"If this goes badly,-"

"I'm punching Michael." Calum finishes for me, a cheeky smile on his face. I roll my eyes and head back into the house. It was now or, very much later. I was beginning to lean towards the latter. Slowly, I make my way into the crowd and go up the stairs. It's then that I see Michael pressed against the wall by a girl with purple hair. I shrink back and turn away, blinking away the tears that I didn't know was there. All I knew is that I needed to get away from here. So I turn, sharply.

"What the fuck? Oh, shit." Cara says, and both Nova and Jules turn to face me.

"Oh no." Nova comforts, brushing my hair away from my face as she analyzes the situation. "Go get Ashton." And with that, Jules is rushing down the hall.

"Are you okay?" Cara asks, and I shake my head. "Come on, let's go outside." And we do.

>>

Nova and Cara take turns explaining what happened to Calum, and I can see him tense. He tries getting up several times, but one look at me and he's back to sitting. Until the end.

"Are you guys okay with staying with her?" He asks, both of them nod. Calum disappears into the house after kissing my forehead, to do who knows what. At this point, I didn't care. I wanted to go home.

"Hey guys, what's up?" Ashton asks, approaching our small group. It doesn't take him long to understand, and he's tilting my face up from it's downward angle so that I look at him. "I'm gonna take you home, is that okay?" He asks, and I nod. Standing up, I say my goodbyes to Cara, Nova, and Jules. They tell me that they've already put their numbers in my phone, and to text them when I wake up tomorrow. It's awkwardly silent as Ashton and I make it to his car. And when we do, he turns on the heat.

"Andy, I'm sorry." He starts, but I shake my head.

"I'm so tired of people being sorry for me Ashton." I snap, looking out the window. Whatever was happening with Calum and Michael, I hoped that things would change by Monday.

"You know how I'm best friends with Luke?" He asks, and I hum in response. "To be frank, I can't stand him," Ashton laughs, I find myself laughing.

"Join the club."

"Why didn't we ever hang out?" He asks. Why didn't we?

"You just weren't around," I simply answer. The blond nods, turning off of the snowy road.

"So what's the deal between you and Michael?" Ashton questions, which makes me think. What was our deal?

"We're just friends, nothing more." Is my response as I look out the window. I hear him scoff, so I give him a look. "What?"

"No offense, but you're really dumb if you think that."

"Thanks Ash," I grumble.

"Just hear me out. You guys are always around each other during school, and I've seen you guys on the weekends. He got jealous when the bottle landed on me, for Christ's sake. Michael likes you more than a friend." He explains, I find myself rolling my eyes. The thought of Michael having some sort of feelings for me was ridiculous.

"Then why was he kissing some other girl?" I shriek, and my words hang in the air.

"That's who he is." Is how our conversation ends.

>>

"This is you, right?" He asks as we pull up to my house. I nod, and try to figure out how he knew where I lived without me telling him.

"Yeah. Uh, how'd you know?" I ask without a filter. His face turns red and he clears his throat before answering.

"I um, used to follow you home. In middle school I had this huge crush on you, and I live down the street so... yeah." Ashton replies sheepishly. I laugh in reply.

"That's cute, Ashton." I giggle. "Hey, maybe we can hang out more."

"Yeah, Nova and Cara's parents are moving down here. We can form our own band of misfits," Ash laughs.

"Yeah, maybe. I'll see you around, yeah?" And with that, I'm out of the car.

"Just don't bring your little love triangle around," He jokes, and I mentally agree. Our little group was going to be secret and drama free.

I laugh and walk into my house, thinking what life would be without the drama.

>>

"Andy, what the fuck happened last night?" I'm woken up by Elliot seeming to scream. I get up in a daze, my head pounding, and squint at him in confusion. What did he mean?

"What do you mean, Elliot?" I question, still trying to figure out what the date was, and how I ended up back in bed. Instead of explaining, he shoves his phone in my face.

At first there's just blurs, but then I manage to make them out. A dark boy, yelling at a taller and lighter boy over the music. Calum and Michael. All of a sudden, things escalate and fists are thrown. No. And that's the end of the video.

"Shit, shit, shit. Elliot I need your car, please." I find myself begging. From the looks of it, Cal got his ass kicked. And I needed to see him, I needed to see if he was okay. I look up to see Elliot looking down at me with sad eyes, and he fishes his keys out of his pocket and hands them to me. Everything blurs, and I realize I'm crying. Get it together, Andy. Breathe. But I couldn't. Calum was hurt, and it was my fault.

"Ands, breathe." Eli insists, and I finally realize that my chest is heaving. "Come on, remember the patterns."

After I calm down, I'm out the door.