Learning To Fall

fifteen

One thing I didn't want to do was go back to school. Granted, we only had a couple weeks until winter break. But, it couldn't come soon enough.

After hitting snooze at least five times, I get up and throw on the nearest pullover hoodie. At this point, I didn't care and decide to slip on a pair of black leggings. Black matches with everything, right? Soon enough my hair is in a ponytail and boots are on my feet. Finishing brushing my teeth, I check my phone to see a text from Calum.

Cal Pal : are we still riding together?

Me : yeah, why?

Cal Pal : figured you'd be carpooling with Michael

Me : don't hate him bc you saw him with Luke. he's our friend

Cal Pal : I don't, I'm being wary. now come out here before my Jeep freezes to death.

So, I do.

>>

You never know just how much you mean to someone. You, Andy Tate, mean so much to me. I wish you would know. Maybe I'll have the guts to tell you someday. Until then, stay beautiful as always.

I sigh, reading the note the person who got assigned to me sent. If only this person were to tell me, if only I were to find out. At least this got my mind off of the Calum and Michael situation I was currently facing. Ms. Monroe's voice brings me out of my thoughts.

"I have an announcement to make," Her voice says, causing everyone to look up. What now?
"These notes will cease next month, the day we come back from winter break. So, decide what you want to be your last notes." Is all she says before everyone goes back to talking individually. I think about what I want to write to Michael as I bring out a notebook. I could tell him what I found out. Maybe bring up the fact (again,) that we barely know each other. We had been friends for four months, yet I still couldn't fill up a page of things I knew about him. Michael could read me like a book, but to me he was still a mystery. Once again, I go back to thinking about what to write to him.

Who are you? Is all I end up with.

>>

"Maybe he's a mob boss," Rachel says from the counter I was currently sitting at. It was time for work once again, but I came in thirty minutes early to talk things over with her.

"Rae, I'm being serious. I have no idea who he is." I whine, and she laughs.

"I don't see why it matters. It's only been four months. Unless.." She implies, raising her eyebrows. My face heats up.

"Unless what?"

"You totally like him!" Rachel exclaims, causing most of the diner to look at her. If possible, I'm sure my face is even redder. Leave it to her to announce my undeclared feelings for Michael to the whole diner. She pulls me into the kitchen.

"Wait, are you serious?" Is her next question. I shake my head.

"No, I'm not. Because I don't even know who he is." I counter, pushing up the sleeves of my hoodie. She eyes me and then walks out.

"You'll have to choose one eventually, Ands." Is all I hear her say. But I pretend not to hear it.

Another hour passes and Michael comes in for his shift, his entire outfit black and his hair- his hair is green. I have to look away before he catches me staring. Maybe he was getting into the Christmas spirit. I didn't know how I failed to notice it during school. Recently Michael and I weren't talking much. Not sure why, but I knew I didn't particularly like it.

"Nice hair Mikey," Jackie, one of the waitresses says. She was young, blonde, and perky. Maybe too perky. There was a rumor going around the diner that she was taking way too much Prozac. But hey, I didn't start it.

"Thanks Jack," Michael gushes. She giggles and then walks back out. I surpress an eye roll. She walks back in and leans on the counter by Michael's sink.

"You know, I was thinking about going to the lake after work today. Clothes are totally optional. Do you wanna come with me?" She purrs, and I freeze. We weren't even twenty minutes into our shifts and she was already flirting.

"Actually no, Ands and I were gonna go look for Pokémon." He turns her down, and my smile is unstoppable. He turned down one of the prettiest girls in the diner for a made up Pokémon hunt? With me?

"Oh, enjoy that."

>>

Jackie leaves twenty minutes before I do. So, I didn't have to pretend to leave with Michael and was pretty sure we'd go back to not talking for some strange reason. As I'm gathering my things, I see a dark shadow next to mine on the wall in front of me.

"Hey," I hear Michael's voice. I sling both arms into the straps of my bookbag before answering.

"Hi,"

"Are we okay?" He asks, running a hand through his newly dyed hair. I resist the urge to reach up and run my hands through it. Instead, I put them at my sides.

"Yeah, why wouldn't we be?" I answer, starting my way to the front. He grabs his bag and coat before joining me.

"I dunno, we just stopped talking. It was weird. But how was your break?" Michael questions, and I shrug.

"I didn't spend it with Lillian, so that was good. You?"

"Quiet. It's really just me and my parents, they either don't talk to their siblings or they don't have any. We visited my grandparents briefly, but other than that I was mostly in my room." The boy says, and I feel a pang of empathy. I had cousins upon cousins and a sibling, and he had neither.

"Yeah. But hey, at least you weren't plagued with questions about your ex." I state as we stand at the entrance.

"No way."

"Yeah, they met Lucifer last year and loved him. Now that he's not around, they notice and ask questions. It's complicated." Is my answer, as we walk on the snow covered ground. I survey the parking lot, and groan inwardly.

"You okay?" He notices. I sigh, and shake my head.

"Rachel's supposed to be here to pick me up. She probably fell asleep or something. I can walk." He stops me when he sees me putting on my hat. I raise an eyebrow.

"I'll take you home."

"Mikey, no. I don't wanna be a burden," I insist.

"Will you shut up and let me do something nice? Get in the car," Michael demands. Wow, pushy, I think as I get in the passenger side. We drive in silence for a while, the heat the only noise.

"Michael, why were you at Luke's?" I blurt suddenly, my face turning red as soon as it's out of my mouth. Stupidly, I sneak a glance at him to see his expression stone cold and hands holding onto the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles were turning white.

"I needed to tell him to lay off." Is his answer.

"Lay off of what?"

"You. Do you really not see how he looks at you?"

"No?" I mostly ask. He sighs.

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes, it does matter because it's my business Michael. Not yours. I get that you're trying to be a good friend and all, but I can protect myself." I defend, and force myself to look out the window. He mumbles something along the lines of you don't understand back, but I can't hear him over the heater. I turn on an alternative station, and continue my gaze out the window until we pull up to the house I've known my whole life.

"Michael." I say, taking off my seat belt. We make eye contact, and I continue. "Why didn't you go out with Jackie?"

"Because," The boy answers, looking down at his hands. "She's not my type." I nod in reply, but nothing could prepare me for his next response.

"I'm interested in someone else, too."