Learning To Fall

twenty

Snow day; the best thing to hear on a Friday morning. Half asleep, I was standing in front of my mirror when Elliot walked in and informed me of the news.

"You know, I could've been changing." I tell him, looking at my male counterpart through the mirror. He simply shrugs in reply.

"It's a good thing you weren't. So, any plans today?" I consider what Ashton told me about 'becoming my own person' before replying.

"I'm probably just gonna lay around in my pajamas and watch Netflix all day." He scrunches his face up in confusion, and that's when I realize I forgot to tell him about Calum and I giving each other space. Then again, I didn't need to tell him everything.

"Are you okay? You usually are already half way to Calum's by now," Eli asks. Truthfully, I didn't know. I hated not talking to my best friend. But, I felt fine, other than the whole missing Calum thing.

"Calum and I are, um, not really talking," I admit to Elliot. His head tilts to the side, silently asking me to go on. "I think he wants me to choose between him and Michael." Elliot groans in reply.

"Jesus, I knew Cal was corny but not that corny," He says, sitting on my bed. I go to sit next to him.

"Wait, you knew?" He knew Calum likes me?

"Andy, you really didn't know?" God I felt dumb. Did Calum really make it that obvious, and I was still clueless? This always happens, I can tell when other people like each other, but not when anyone likes me. Even when Luke asked me out it came as a shock. Instead of speaking my mind, I shake my head.

"I don't even know if I'm ready to be in a relationship after what happened." I also don't know who Michael is.

"As long as you're happy, I'm happy." I roll my eyes teasingly.

"That's such a cliche older brother thing to say," I laugh. Elliot rolls his eyes, muttering a "whatever" and standing. "Oh, Rachel's taking me to the lodge on the mountain this weekend, just thought you should know." He nods.

"Yeah, dad told us last night at dinner. Where were you, by the way?" Elliot asks, and I look at my sock covered feet.

"I was at Nova and Cara's."

"Those girls from the party you told me about?"

"Yeah, I was helping them unpack and then we ate at the diner," I state, mentally swearing that Elliot would make a great detective with all of the questions he's asking. He closes the door before questioning me again.

"Is it because of Lillian?" That makes me think. I hadn't spoken to Lillian since she told me to stop talking to Calum. Maybe that was why some of my stress was gone.

"No."

"Okay, I'll see you Monday then."

"Sunday night," I cheekily correct, and he makes a face at me before smiling and walking out of my room. Contently, I end up falling back asleep.

>>

I'm awoken by an annoying clink at my window. The flashing LED numbers tell me that it's only been thirty minutes since I woke up. So, five thirty. As I'm getting up, I hear the sound again.

"Go home, Calum." I glare at the dark skinned boy when I open the window. I try not to shiver as the November breeze blows in.

"Can I come up?" He asks, ignoring my demand.

"No." I answer. He runs a hand through his hair.

"Why not?"

"Because we're supposed to be giving each other space."

"That was only supposed to be until you decided, and I saw you follow Clifford out of the lunchroom." The boy accuses. I rub my face and sigh, silently scolding myself for opening the window. "Andy, I'm freezing. Can we please just talk this out?"

I look around outside before replying. "Fine." And within minutes, Calum climbs the large oak outside my window and slides in.

"It's cold out there," He laughs, closing the window. I fold my arms over my chest, slightly shivering. Calum turns, and it's silent for a while after we make eye contact. "I missed you." Then he's embracing me in a frantic hug. My arms react first, going around his waist. And it's like the whole world is breathing out a breath its been holding since Calum and I last spoke. My lips speak the words I've been dying to tell him.

"I missed you, too." And I hear him sigh, rubbing circles on my spine.

We spend the next ten minutes getting caught up. It turns out that in the week we weren't talking, Calum got a new job and met a girl who just moved here. He's not surprised to hear that Michael likes me, and even congratulates me. Maybe this time apart is what we needed, I think as I lean back on my mattress. Even though we were telling each other everything again, I kept one thing a secret; the club of misfits. After another thirty minutes, Calum decides to leave. When I check my phone, I see I have a message.

Clifford : do you wanna build a snowman, come on let's go and play

Me : no

Clifford : I barely see you anymore, it's like you've gone away

Me : you just saw me yesterday, shut up and go to bed

Clifford : ok HARSH

Clifford : I'm coming over and I'm gonna sleep in your bed

Me : lol no

Clifford : too late, I'm in my car

Sighing, I go to the edge of my bed. The cold floor makes me want to get back into my warm bed, but instead I go downstairs and make oatmeal while I wait for Michael to get here. After about fifteen minutes, my phone vibrates due to the classic 'I'm here' message. When I open the door, he's waiting there in flannel bottoms and a black t-shirt, clad in white converse. His hair is a softer, lighter green that makes me want to run my fingers through it. Instead of doing that, I move away so he can step in the house. He has other plans, and pulls me in so close that I can smell the Downy on his clothes and mint on his breath.

"Morning," Michael mumbles into my hair, and I sigh.

"Morning." I say, and he moves away so that we're standing parallel to each other. Another sigh threatens to spill from my mouth when we make eye contact, and part of me wanders when I became so smitten. I wanted to remind myself that I barely knew him, but even that stopped working a while ago. He was just so, so pretty.

"What are you staring at?" He finally asks, and I look down at my Slytherin socks before he sees my face go red.

"You didn't shave today," I answer, looking back up. He runs a hand over his face, laughing slightly.

"And I thought you didn't notice," Michael laughs, and I shake my head.

"Shut up," I chuckle back. I watch as a noticeable shiver goes through his body, and he covers his bare arms. "Do you wanna go upstairs?" Nervousness creeps up onto me, I'd never asked a boy to my room. Did it sound provocative? Did Michael think I meant it in a provocative manner? If he thinks otherwise, he doesn't mention it.

"Sure," He agrees, and we go to my room.