Learning To Fall

thirty

A heavy weight on my lap is what wakes me up from my small nap. I was sitting up with my head leaned back in a position that I was now regretting seeing as my neck was killing me. Frankly, I didn't remember even falling asleep. I try to move my legs to get the feeling back in my thighs, and a groan comes from someone other than me. I look down to see a disgruntled Luke staring back up at me.

"Why didn't you tell me I fell asleep?" I ask the blond, and he smiles a little. His bruises had faded, but they still made him look awful.

"Because you're supposed to be resting and I fell asleep too," He adds as an after thought. I offer a smile down at him, brushing his slightly thicker hair back from his face.

"I'm so sorry," I muster, glancing at his bruises and cuts. "You didn't deserve this. Calum didn't deserve this," He makes a sound like he's going to object but I continue to talk over him. "Look at us. You and Calum are bruised and cut up, I'm concussed and have a sprained wrist. It's my fault, and I'm so sorry," My voice cracks at the end, and it's hard to fight back tears. I hated that the people I loved were getting hurt because of my stupid decision to trust Michael.

"You can't blame yourself for this, Ands. You were doing what you thought was right, and you were trying to open up again. There's nothing wrong with that," Luke tries to comfort me, grabbing my hand and tracing circles on my wrist.

"I just, it sucks so much." My eyes begin to water and Luke sits up to come to my side. He offers his shoulder and I accept it without hesitating, I needed it.

"I'm here for you, and so is Calum and Ashton and Elliot, the girls too. We're here for you and we love you. You don't need a guy to validate you as a person." Luke  reminds me. I knew that. I've always known it, before Luke and after Michael. A guy would never validate me. My worth wasn't determined by who I was dating; it was by who I was as a person. That went for anyone. Instead of answering I scoot closer to Luke, focusing on the Harry Potter movie playing on the TV across from us. It'd been a while since I had been at Luke's, but it still hasn't changed. The livingroom walls were still a muted blue, and the suede white couch was still comfortable. Every so often, Liz would come in and check up on his injuries and check to see how I was feeling. Like now, for instance.

"How's the face Luke?" She asks, peering in from the kitchen. He answers with a grunt, letting her know he's doing okay. Her blue eyes make their way to my dark ones. "How are you feeling Andy? Is your head bothering you?"

"No, but thanks for asking Liz." I smile, and a smile comes across her face in reply. When she leaves, I elbow Luke. "Be nice to her. She doesn't have to check in on you, you know."

"I know. But I'm fine, Andy. It's you I'm worried about." His concerned ocean eyes bore into mine. A start of a smile grazes my features.

"I'll be fine, Luke. I have you guys, and food. Not to mention Harry Potter," I tease, nodding at the screen. He chuckles, and leans his head onto mine.

"You're such a dork," Luke laughs.

"Really? Because I'm pretty sure I heard you and Jules having a heated debate about Star Wars the other night," I giggle, and he laughs a laugh I haven't heard for a while.

"So what if I like Star Wars?"

"And so what if I like Harry Potter?" I counter, and he sticks out his tongue like a child. "Exactly, so shush Hemmings."

"Do you want anything from the fridge? I know my mom's prepping for dinner right now but I'm really hungry, and I was just wondering if you were too?" Luke babbles, reaching up to scratch his neck. Something he does when he's nervous. Why would he be nervous?