ONE WEEK LATER
Next week Jabari is going to be two months so we're flying out to Jamaica for the weekend. We need to get away for a while. We're going to see if Zeke, Renee, Jacoby, and Lauren want to come but that all depends on what the paternity test say, which we should've got Friday or yesterday but today is Tuesday. Right now I'm at my moms house with the kids while 'Xavier is out doing whatever. And like I said PonRon {PōnRōn} had 72 hours. Well his time was up and he gone. I made a check list of who to kill and I plan on killing at list 3 before we leave for Jamaica next Wednesday.
My Check List
☑️ Damien
☑️ PonRon
🔘 T-Sweat
🔘 Sweet
🔘 Big P
🔘 Young Blood
🔘 Que
🔘 Pearly M
🔘 Ronnie
🔘 Killo
After they gone I'm gonna be good and I'll feel better especially knowing they not doing that to anymore girls. They didn't do much to me but there's no telling how far they went with any other girls.
Jaidyn: "Mama I 'ont daddy"
Me: "You want your daddy? Well daddy is gone right now you'll see him later okay baby"
Jaidyn: "Okay"
Me: "Now go to your room and watch tv until we go home"
I watched him go to his room he had here and my mom came where I was.
Me: "Hey mama"
Mom: "Hey baby, you okay?", she asked me sounding sad sitting on the couch across from me.
Me: "Yes ma'am I'm fine why you ask?"
Mom: "Because you look tired. How are things with you and 'Xavier?"
Me: "Things are going well surprisingly"
Mom: "Thats good, baby do you have any regrets in your life?"
Me: "Why you ask that?"
Mom: "Because I've just been thinking. I was going through you and your brothers and sister baby books and photo books and I don't really have a lot of you like I do everybody else. And I'm noticing I wasn't always there for you when you were growing up. I mean I've been there with you but not always there for you"
Me: "Mama no it's the opposite you've always been there for me just not always there. I wouldn't call them regrets but if I knew better I'd do better. Yeah there were a lot of moments in my life that you missed but it's not your fault I was just leaning on my own understanding of life. I wouldn't come home because I was scared of my consequences and I would always run away from it and with everything that's happened to me I'm wishing I didn't"
Mom: "What do you mean? What's some things you've been I through?"
Me: "A lot and I'm really scared to tell you"
Mom: "Honestly tell me what I can do now. It's already happened and you nearly grown", I looked at my mom like nearly? Really? "Don't look at me like that, yes really. You still 19 baby girl and barely that. You not grown just legal and barely that. Now tell me"
Me: "Okay before me and 'Xavier went out I went out with this other guys 'Xavier didn't like in elementary. We was young I didn't really know what that meant. Then we broke up and I got with 'Xavier but some stuff was going in with him so then he beat me up because I was getting on his nerves I guess and then I started working for his dad. Eventually I left there but then I was kidnapped for 2 months, that's when I was over Aunt Tina's for the summer. I was nearly raped, I've murdered people, I've robbed from people, I've made drugs, sold drugs, I had an abortion, I've been a stripper, I had..."
Mom: "Wait did you say you had an abortion?"
Me: "Yeah well the doctors say that but I wasn't even pregnant"
Mom: "So some doctors just told you, you had an abortion?"
Me: "No it was weird but I didn't really have one. I thought I was pregnant and I went to a place for them to abort it but they said I wasn't. It was weird, I never told anybody that and it feels good to just get all of that out"
Mom: "I can't believe I missed all of this going in in your life"
Me: "Yeah it's been a long journey. I can't say I regret it because through all those obstacles I've had my sons and I definitely don't take that back. I would do a lot of stuff differently but other than that I'm good. No regrets."
Mom: "I wish I could've and would've been there for you. Why didn't you tell me?"
Me: "Because dad was gone. You had other kids and then you was tying to get Derrick to go to college and then Desiree was pregnant around that time and I just didn't want you to be bothered with anything else and I handled it myself. No it wasn't the best but you didn't have to worry. It was my choice not to tell you mom so don't worry about it or get yourself worked up about it", I stood up and gave her a hug so she wouldn't blame her self for not being there. I don't want her to blame her self because it's nobody's fault it's just the choices that were being made, that's why I think more before I do because sometimes the consequences just not worth it no matter what reason or situation.
Mom: "Thank-you baby. And umm when are y'all leaving it's getting late. It's 7:15?"
Me: "Okay okay we'll leave and get our your hair"
Mom: "No I don't mean it like that and you know it. But your dad is going to be home in a little while and he's been a little stressed lately so when he get home I just want him to relax"
Me: "You don't have to explain to me I know what that's like. Well we will see you later mom", I said hugging her one last time.
Mom: "Alright baby. You need help getting the boys in the car?"
Me: "Yes ma'am"
She helped me get both the boys in the car and I drove off. I was just going to go home but Jaidyn was good I drove through Mc Donald's and got him some ice-cream and he got it everywhere. I took a picture of him eating the ice-cream and I let Jabari get a little taste of it. I drove home and Jaidyn was so close to being sleep but he was fighting it.
'Xavier: "Hey baby where were y'all at?", he came out the house into the garage with his shirt off showing his tattoos with his sweats.
Me: "We just got back from Mc Donald's. Jaidyn did good today so I gave him some ice-cream. Where were you?"
'Xavier: "I was at work getting stuff in order. Hey J baby", he said picking him up while I got Jabari out the car.
Me: "Oh did you check the mail?"
'Xavier: "Yeah and the results came back I just wanted to wait for you to get here"
Me: "Okay good. Well I'm going to bathe Jabari. You bathe Jaidyn and meet me in the bedroom"
'Xavier: "Don't say it like that cause I'll jump on you"
Me: "One word. Water"
'Xavier: "Don't play me", we both started laughing and walked upstairs.
We both bathe the boys and put them to sleep and went to the room. I changed into some pajamas and waited for him to open the letter.
'Xavier: "It's say I am NOT! the father!!!!!!!!"
Me: "I knew it", we both yelled. I started jumping up and down and I ran into his arms and he picked me up spinning me around. He kissed me while I was still in the air and he out me down. He tried to take off my clothes but that's to far. "Baby wait we still waiting for one more test and then we'll see if you really get what you want"
'Xavier: "Ugh you know what I actually went and got the test done a little while back. I got it done after the last person I slept with which was a month ago. Right after Jabari was born and I figured you were going to bring it up tonight so my results are here to"
Me: "Well them open it up. I want to see what we're going to be doing tonight"
'Xavier: "And you tell me water?", he said laughing.
Me: "Whatever just open it and read it", I said smiling.
'Xavier: "It say I'm positive for Chlamydia..."
