moan ♡ d.l [#wattys2016]

thirty-three

4 months pregnant

his hand caressed my semi-big tummy as he hummed a song. i looked up at him with a smile who was sitting and focusing on humming the song. he noticed my stare so he looked down at me with a wide smile, before crouching down, pecking my tummy, kissing my lips and sitting back.

"you know i love you jovana" he whispered. my smile grew wider as my mouth opened to let out a word, just to be cut off. "you and the baby mean the world to me, and i don't know what would i do without you two." his voice was still on the level of a whisper which made me focuse more on his voice than his plump, kissable lips i was focused on.

"i love you derek, and i'm glad to be yours. me, you and the baby are finally a family that i wanted long time ago. even though my daughter passed away, i'm-"

"i'm such a dumbass for leaving you the day you told me you have a daughter, i'm stupid and i will regret that day forever until i die. i pray to god to not make any mistakes anymore and live this life what i'm living with you and the baby, in a mansion with the girl and a baby i truly love."

tears welled up my eyes as i grabbed dereks hand which mas on my tummy. i took a tight grip on it and stared at the diamond ring. "i can't imagine anything without you" i spoke and sat up slowly without a fast move to hurt my stomach and cause more pain.

i leaned closer to his lips and kissed them slowly and passionately. after about 15 seconds of kissing i slowly pulled away, immediatly missing the feeling of his soft lips collided with mine. his hand moved from my stomach to my face, caressing it slowly, "i'm gonna take care fo you and the baby."

a smile crept upon my lips at that sentence he said and layed back down. he layed with me, grabbing the cover from our knee level, pulling it up. our upper bodies were now covered with the cover and it felt warm and nice. he leaned back, closing the night stand light, before nuzzling his face on my neck.

he kissed the skin on it once before being the big spoon and cuddling with me. i really do love this man.

-

"the red one or black one?" i twirled with the dress above me, showing derek. he furrowed his brows while thinking.

"im wearing a black suit and a red tie" he mumbled, "probably the red dress, try it" he spoke and cracked a smile.

i nodded my head and walked in the fitting room area. i made my way to the empty one and started undressing my clothes. "i took the black too if you don't like the red one" he infromed and i heard him sit down.

"okay" i mumbled while carefully sliding my jeans off of my body.

i unzipped the red dress and holding it fron the straps. i lowered it down while stepping inside it with my both legs. i pulled it up while sliding my hands through the straps. i took a deep breath while i snaked my hands behind my back to the zipper. i got a tight grip on the handle of the zipper while trying to pull it up. i did nothing else but fail so i had to call derek.

"derek?" i asked opening the door slowly. i peeked my head out slowly with a smile as i saw him.

his face lit up as he saw me peeking from the door, "yeah?" he probably knew i couldn't do something like zip the zipper since he stood up with his hands parted to help.

"can you zip this?" i turned around and openes the door wider after he simply nodded. i felt his hand reach the zipper and do their magic.

it didn't take long for him to zip it up since it wasn't so stucky like the other ones, or he's just extremely strong. i turned around to look myself in the mirror, seeing me in a beautiful red dress with the baby bump visible.

i let out a gasp and a smile form in my lips when i saw his behind me and me in the mirror. we already looked like those family couples but we don't even have one, yet. i looked behind me seeing him smiling like and idiot.

"your ass still looks good" he mumbled as his hands traveled to my ass, squeezing it gently. i lightly gasped while playfully hitting his arm. he let out a laugh and i just smiled at his adorableness.

i don't know and i'm not sure how much this adoring will take, but i believe it's gonna end soon, like it always does. many people don't notice the little thing that makes us smile while our partner does, example smile or laugh adorably. like my mom told me, in the start, it's going to be so cute when derek grabs her/him and twirls him/her around, later it forms into family love which doesn't make us notice it so much anymore, but i think i'm ready.

"what are you thinking?" derek's voice vibrated against my neck as his hand were around my waist, gently his thumb rubbing my stomach.

"life" i shortly smiled before staring at him from the mirror. hell, i don't know how i got so lucky and unlucky.

when you think about it, i've been through a lot of heartbreaks by him, not many maybe, but they felt like a lot. all these chapters were written for a reason that i know, i wanted to keep these bad and good memories that i and the closest people i have make. i want that my life will be remembered by a book or a video, if that's not so much to ask for.

33 chapters of ups and downs, like a rollecroaster, but i have to admit, it did me good. i did lose many people, but i added many people in my life. i kind of lost small contact with anjali and kehlani, i was the closest with them from the start.

i met many other guys, but i ended up with derek. hell, i even got a child and ran away, but she ran behind me and those were the best almost 3 years of my life. i'm maybe mentally not ready for a child after her death, but physically, i think i can raise a child right, right?

"okay, are you ready to pay for it?" he questioned, snapping me out of my thoughts. i fastly nodded my head while looking at our interwined hands.

i turned around, slowly letting go of his hand while closing the cabinet door. i leaned against the wall that was next to the mirror wall. now i'm finally ready to go to one of my exe's wedding, jay's. amira did him right, i have to admit.

many people are not ready to face their ex with a suit in a wedding, but i am. we ended off well, not messy like usually. i think this is almost the ending of my wild life, what do you think?

-

yall know what this means... i hope.

well;

this book is very close to the ending and i'm sad and excited. we made a lot of breaks during this book and a lot of friends, am i right?

i remember when i published this book and i remember saying to myself that;
"even if this book doesn't get any love, i'll love it"

i posted the intro and went to sleep, like i always do. the next morning i wake up with tons of notifications and to be true i almost pooped myself at the excitement.

i was such a kid back then and i cant believe that this book has ALMOST FUCKING 60 K

i love all of you with my heart, i cant even explain how much. thank you guys so much and the 30 votes last chapter, you were close (;

I LOVE YOU ALL, REMEMBER THAT.
HAVE A NICE DAY, EVENING, NIGHT, MORNING OR MIDNIGHT!

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