moan ♡ d.l [#wattys2016]

eighteen

i wasn't in a mood to talk to anybody, but i knew i had to get over him. he started the bullshit after i just told him i have a daughter. he is an asshole.

jay said he was coming over with harley and i was excited to meet her. even though i was heart broken and in a bad mood, my own daughter could make it better, i can feel it.

daniel is out with that girl so he doesn't know anything, again. i sometimes do feel bad for daniel because he hasn't done anything to deserve a messed up sister who he has to keep up with, me.

i've made so many mistakes and nobody doesn't want to forgive me anymore. it was easy forgiving in the beginning. i know that if harley knew that i left her after she was born because i was so scared, she'll not forgive me.

to believe she's been living with jay - her father the whole time makes me sad. i bet you when the kids in kindergarden were like 'i pick flowers up with my mommy' she was thinking of her mother - me.

i was young and full of mistakes and drinks in my hands. i used to get drunk day and night. my mother was ashamed of me, that's why she doesn't take me in those little family trips, or daniel.

daniel grew up like me, but he has never made mistakes as bad as mine. he probably skipped school and went to a friends house like me. he has lost his virginity, i told him when i lost mine. he was old enough to understand. he told me when he lost his.

i don't want a relationship with my daughter, same as mine and my moms. i want our relationship clean and fun. i want her to tell me about everything, first kiss, first boyfriend... first time.

i'll tell her about everything. wait until i meet her. i will show her the best mother and the kind of mother i wish she had.

-

three knocks on the door, who i'm guessing is jay. i fixed my jeans and shirt. i stood up walking to the door and opening it.

"hey jay" i greeted him with a smile. he hugged me smiling.

"harley, this is mommy" jay talked with a baby voice crouching down to the size of harley.

"mommy!" she yelled excitedly.

i picked her up spinning her around inside. "baby! i've missed you!" i kissed her head 10 times.

"i love you mommy!" she squealed excitedly. tears threatened my eyes, but i didn't let them win this time.

"i love you more princess" i squeezed her full of love. she giggled as i let her down.

she started running around the house leaving me and jay alone. "our daughter" i smiled at what just jay said.

"where's derek by the way?"

"um... i told him that we have a daughter and he freaked out and called me a bitch, but i've decided to move on from him completly" i smiled at the end.

he shot a smile. "so does that mean i have chances with you or..." he raised his brow.

"maybe, maybe not" i giggled.

"whatever happens, i'll still love you" he grabbed my head gently kissing my forehead.

"me too" i closed my eyes, really meaning that.

i'm in my arms of my first love.

-

"

jovana! why is a little girl holding my leg?!" i heard daniel yell.

my eyes widened and so did jay's. i thought he wasn't home. "wait!" i yelled running upstairs, jay following me.

we arrived at daniel's open door just to see harley smiling and giggling as daniel played with her. "who's she?" he asked smiling at her.

"um, my child" i squeezed my eyes shut waiting for his responce.

"your... your what?!" he looked like he was out of his freaking mind.

"i know i know, judge me by my past, i don't care. we had a child two years ago" i excplained pointing at the both of us, "and it's her, harley" i told him.

"why didn't you tell me?" he asked confused as ever.

"please don't be mad at me. i already lost mom, dad, mia, peter and derek" i said in the verge of tears.

"no, no, no. don't cry please. i'm going to be here with you because i love you too much to let you go just because you're a mother. i love you" he stood up hugging me.

jay picked up harley and walked to us. "even if you two ugly as hell, she cute" daniel tapped harley on the nose as she giggled.

"dan" her hands moved into fists, trying to grab him. daniel took her from jay's arms, jumping her gently up and down.

"he took my babygirl" jay frowned like a little baby.

i giggled looking at him. "goo goo eyes. harley cover your eyes" daniel joked putting his hand infront of harley's eyes, giggling with her.

"you two make a cute couple" daniel said admiring us. jay had his arm on my shoulder as we both smiled.

"were you home all the time?" i tried to change the subject.

"yes, but i had headphones on... like always" he said.

"okay" i nodded my head.

daniel grabbed one of harleys hand. "kiss, kiss" harley mumbled smiling cutely.

"kiss, kiss, kiss" daniel encouraged with harley.

i blushed giggling. jay held my head with his hands, as i shook my head smiling. he leaned down, wanting to touch my lips.

i gave in kissing him back. i pulled away from his familiar and amazing kiss.

"i still love derek tho" i said waiting for a responce from the both of them.

idek what's wrong with me and these strong updates.

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-aalyah