NEPENTHE

Four Chapattis

i. He has stopped crying at night. The tears don't soak the musty pillow cases any more. Of course, he still finds it difficult to fall asleep alone, because the bedsheets don't smell of her any more. But still, he's healing.

ii. He has started to eat chocolate again. This was what had made people anxious about him in the first place. His sudden aversion to chocolate. But now, he eats it whenever he can, because the flavour reminds him of the taste of her lips.

iii. He has started going out again, instead of lying comatose with grief, on the bed. This happened following an ecstatic dream in which she came to him and gently reminded him that it was she who was dead and not him. He goes to parks and restaurants and libraries and cinemas. And graveyards. With flowers.

iv. He has stopped avoiding her photos. He has already replaced a few of her most beautiful photos on the mantelpiece. He looks at them once or twice a day, (Thrice on a really bad day) And tries to remember her hiccuping, hearty laugh, her freckles, her nervous way of saying his name, and how her eyes smiled before her mouth did.

v. He has started cooking again. But sometimes, he makes four chapattis (two for him and two for her) And sets the table for two. It is only after he sits down and observes the empty seat in front of him, that he remembers. He wraps the leftover chapattis in silver foil and gives it to his neighbour.

vi. He still cries when he listens to their songs on the radio. Or when they bring in curd rice, her favourite. But he doesn't want this pain to go because that would mean forgetting. He wants her alive, young forever, in her memories.

vii. He has started healing. It's very slow and imperceptible, like falling asleep. Slowly but surely, he's healing.

Thank you for reading....