No Control (Sequel to #AFAR)

39. Telling Him

LeeLee's P.O.V.

Were my feelings hurt? Of course. Why were my feelings hurt? I don't know to be honest. I mean he was right, it was only fair for him to tell everyone at the same time. But then again I'm his girl, the one he's going to leave to do his own thing ... That's probably why I felt hurt. I didn't feel hurt because he didn't tell me.

I felt hurt because I'm afraid of getting hurt.

The thought of him touring, and the stories of him sleeping with fans, or sleeping with random people scared me. The thought of him cheating on me in general scared me.

I heard someone coming down the stairs, and I quickly sat up, wiping away my tears. I saw the braids, and sucked my teeth, facing the wall.

Ray: Leandra you know you need to talk to me.

LeeLee: I don't need to talk to anyone, I'm fine.

Ray: Fine? So facing the wall is being fine?

LeeLee: Ray I don't got time for you.

Soon I felt his arms on my shoulder, and there I was looking up, facing him. He grabbed me by my waist, pulling me closer. I laid my head on his chest, his hands rubbing my back. I couldn't help but start crying once again. I wasn't fine, I felt like shit. I could possibly lose the love of my life in the same way I lost Michael, minus the attempted rape.

He stepped back and wiped my tears away.

Ray: Baby why you crying?

LeeLee: (Sniffles.) Because ... Because I don't wanna lose you, damn it. And I know it sounds stupid as fuck, but if you're away, you could forget about me or get lonely and take that loneliness and go with another girl. I don't want to be cheated again, I don't think I could deal with that again.

He looked at me in my eye. Grabbing my hand, he got down on one knee. My heart started racing, wondering what he was gonna ask.

Ray: Aight I'm not asking you to marry you, not yet at least. I wanna give you another promise ring to you.

He pulls out a ring that had diamonds in it. The way the light shone on it was beautiful.

Two promise rings. Double the promise. 

He put the ring on my right hand, on my ring finger, so now I have two rings. He kissed my hand, and then kissed me. I couldn't help but cry. This time out of happiness instead out of nervousness. This boy always knew how to surprise me, how to make me feel happy once more.

LeeLee: Ray ... I deserve to tell you what happened with Michael ... Yes he cheated on me but it wasn't no ordinary situation. Michael made a plan with his two friends in 8th grade that he was gonna get with me just because, so Tre, the one that kidnapped Niyesha, could get with me. I would never get with him in a million years and he knew that. Michael was with me just because. They got him drunk and that's where Tasha comes in. She was kissing all over him, while Tre and Brandon watched. I walked in ... I beat down Tasha and Niyesha took her out ... I ... I almost got raped. (Tears form in her eyes.) Tre almost raped me ...

I thought the experience was horrible, but just remembering it was worse. If Niyesha never came in time, if she never got that feeling she had, if she never was a special angel, I would've been raped. 

Ray: LeeLee I get what happened. Although now I wanna fuck the nigga up, but I'm happy he's far away from you and probably got his head together. You got me now, and I will NEVER do that shit to you. I love you too much.

I nodded and wiped my eyes. He was right. I don't think anybody would do what Michael did to me. Not my Rayan. But I can't help but doubt.

Ray: C'mon baby lemme take you out to eat. Your choice.

LeeLee: (😄) Chick-Fil-A.

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Filler to be honest. Haven't written in here in mad long. 

The book is ending soon just letting y'all know. And this will be my last Mindless Behavior fanfic ... for now. It's getting kind of tiring but I think it's because I need a break. Plus I wanna write more fictional books, nothing with celebrities.