watercolor thoughts [completed]

xxxxix | s a d n e s s

for ellipcess

you have been the world's most supportive person, a paramount magician with the words. thank you for all your loving and motivating comments, you have encouraged me in a way you cannot fathom. you're amazing xxx

--

you have sadness 

living inside you like 

little homes in places

where it shouldn't exist

you string control onto 

your every limb but you 

don't quite understand 

the feeling of being free

you have a weight as heavy

as atlas's burden and 

i haven't seen you truly

smile yet -- let me ask you,

the heart gets harder as you

grow older with every heartbreak

and every bullet and what 

has made it so that the smile 

never reaches your eyes? 

sadness clings onto you like hair

and pieces of lint. i see tears 

in your face but it's not from your

eyes it's painted on your lips. 

you are not made up of 65% water

you are made up of oceans of 

sorrow and dust and lint. 

you have forgotten how to live --

i wish insecurities and atlas's burden

and life has not been so hard on you

i wish i wouldn't see that crease

etched into your skin because fate 

has been too harsh on mortals for 

the only thing you can care about is

racing for unsure dreams

your mouth muscles have gone 

unused with the dust and mold and cold

sadness has soaked your bones.

you are a part of a machine, no longer

a human being. bloodstreams are lined

with silent frustration and tears, years

have become hard to bear. 

sadness finds little havens in your joints

and nerves, your body a war zone. you 

have yet to find a way for a smile to etch

your face, chase away the moths and flies

at bay. find homes in smiles, find homes in

warmth. but you have gotten too used to

the cold to remember the liberation inside you.

sadness has become your only comfort, 

your body a vessel for sorrow. 

tears do not paint your face but paints

the blood lying underneath. 

sadness should not live in mortals like  you,

sadness should not have become who you are. 

bite down on sugar and you taste salt, 

try a smile on your lips and it tastes sour. 

remember you are not sadness but 65% water,

remember you are not bacteria infecting

an empty shell. you've sold all your happiness

and all you've gotten is salt and pain --

but what can you do? these are chains.

winter inhabits your mind and soul,

summer has frozen in your bones. 

sadness lives inside you like a second

soul, sadness makes homes out of the

tired and cold. 

sadness has made an abode in your

world of snow. i see it in your face, 

the lines, your walk. you hide it well

but you can't hide that sadness should

not dwell so deeply in your soul. 

you have sadness hiding in your deepest

places the smallest niches the darkest

corners where it shouldn't exist at all.