wrong number ; j.g

45

I sat in the waiting room all alone, waiting for someone to come tell me she would be okay. The baby, too.

"Mr. Gilinsky," a short woman, who happened to remind me of Dr. Bailey from Grey's Anatomy, came up to me. "I'm Dr. Montgomery."

Wow. What a coincidence.

I stood up to meet her half way, dying to hear the news.

"Is she okay? Is the baby okay?" I asked nervously.

My hands were shaking.

"Mr. Gilinsky, Ana is fine. I had to do an emergency C-section to get the baby out," she said with a look of sadness on her face. "The baby was hardly four months."

My eyes filled with tears.

"We did everything we could, but she was too premature," she said.

"It was a girl?" I ask.

"Yes," she smiled weakly. "I'm sorry Mr. Gilinsky."

She walked away slowly, and then turned around.

"You can come see Ana, if you'd like."

I quickly followed Dr. Montgomery to the room where Ana laid.

"Does she know yet?" I whispered before going inside.

"No," she shakes her head. "Would you like to tell her, or me?"

"I'll tell her," I say with tear filled eyes.

I turned around slowly and entered Ana's room. Her eyes followed the sound of the opening door and met my gaze.

"Hi, baby," I smiled as I reached for her hand and sat in the chair next to the bed.

She placed her hand in mine and looked into my eyes.

"Were you crying, baby?" she asks.

"No," I lied. "No, I wasn't crying."

"Jack, what happened?" her eyes filled with tears, mine did, too.

"I don't know," I sobbed. "The baby didn't make it, sweetie."

It killed me to tell her that. She decided to keep it, and she became attached. Now the baby was gone, just like that.

It was my fault.

"Ana, I'm so sorry," I cried into her arm. "It's my fault."

"How is it your fault?" she asks, sounding almost calm.

I looked up, and realized she was holding back tears.

"Baby, don't hold it in," I rubbed her cheek with my finger and she bursted into tears. "I could've gotten you here sooner. I didn't know. God I'm so stupid."

"Jack, what are you talking about?"

"I thought you started your period, so I left. I called my mom, and she told me. I had to call an ambulance. You were unconscious," I cried. "I thought I was going to lose you."

"So, it's really gone?" she asks in between her cries.

"It was a girl," I tell her. "We were going to have a beautiful baby girl, just like her mommy."

She sat up to hug me.

"It's not your fault, Jack. It was a miscarriage, they're common."

I looked up at her tear stained cheeks.

"It wasn't my fault?" I ask.

"No, you couldn't have done anything."

I stared at her for a long time.

"Why are you crying, Jack?" she asks.

"B-because. We just lost our baby," I cried.

"She wasn't yours, baby," she said.

She looked so heartbroken.

"But you're mine, and the baby was yours. You're the mommy, and I'm dating the mommy. I'm going to be the daddy- I- I was going to be the daddy," I looked down and squeezed my eyes shut. "I wanted to be the daddy."

"Awh, Jack," she hugged me again.

We cried for a moment. Right there, on each other's shoulders. I wanted to be the daddy of that baby. She was my baby. Not Dillon's.

Dillon didn't deserve to be the father of a baby.

The baby didn't deserve to have a father like that. She needed a father that would be there to help her, raise her, wipe her tears and put food on the table for her and her mother. She deserved so much more than Dillon. She needed a father that would raise her like a lady, and treat her like a princess, so she wouldn't take any treatment less than that from a man.

She needed someone to guide her to the right lifestyle. To guide her to the right man, that wouldn't hurt her. Someone to be there when she chose the wrong one, and to wipe the tears when she was hurt.

That was going to be me. But she was gone now, and I was no longer a father.

"I'm not going to be a father," I sniffed.

"Jack, you're still a father. Just of a deceased child," she says. "And I'm still a mother."

"Okay," I said as I wiped my eyes and kissed her forehead.

"You'll get to have kids one day, Jack. Whether it's with me, or not," she said reassuringly.

"It will be with you, as long as you allow it."

-

I'm crying actual tears.