Some Scars Never Heal(Phan)

chapter 11

"Phil?"
"what happened dan?"
i was so close to his face that i could kiss him at any moment. but i chose not to. i sat on the bed with my hands resting on my thighs.
"I can't sleep." i pouted, making him blush.
"Well, i can help you with that." he whispered into my ears, making my stomach tickly because of the butterflies.
He slowly took out his guitar from under the bed and cleared his throat.
i came closer to him and he put my face on his lap. As soon as i heard the first note, i felt relaxed and comfortable.
take my breath, take it all you can. but i can't help falling in love with you.

Phil's pov
i ended the song and giggled at dan who was sleeping on my lap.
i put my guitar back and turned off the lamp quietly, trying to not wake up dan.
I started playing with his hair and stroking his soft skin. after some time, i lifted up dan's head and pulled him closer to me. at this moment, i felt like i've really fallen in love with dan.
You can't do this to yourself. you only deserve hate.
No i don't. I am also a human and i also want to love who i like.
ha. You're clearly a fool. can't you see that he doesn't like you? he's just acting so he could break your heart and make you even more depressed.

A few tears started to spill out of my eyes. i wanted to throw up and scream as loud as i could. I went outside and ran into an alley.
"Please make it stop."I whispered silently , breaking down into tears.
I was so lost in my thought that i didn't realize it was morning already. I took my phone out of my pocket to check the time. 5:30 am.
I started walking back towards my home. I made myself some breakfast and sat down beside dan, stroking his hair.
"Good morning dan." i forcefully put a smile on my face.
a/n double update because why not.