Going Down

Chapter 18

~Chapter Eighteen~

"How are you?" Rachel asks. I lie on the couch in the living room. I'm still sweaty, but cold, and my dried up tears irritate my cheeks.

"I'm fine."

"K so can I go back to bed?" Liam looks exhausted. I feel horrible.

"Liam. Gosh when a girl says she's fine, she isn't fine." Rachel crosses he arms. "I thought you were smarter than that."

I smile when Liam sits back down on the couch. "It's okay guys, you can go back to bed I'll be fine." I croak.

Rachel sighs. "Fine, but it you need anything, don't hesitate to find me." she says.

"Thank you." I tell her, and she leaves the couch and heads back upstairs. "Night." I tell Liam as he stands up.

"Oh you though I was going to bed?"

"Well, I just assu-"

"Look," he says grabbing a blanket from the couch across from us, "I know things haven't been...exactly uh what we've wanted lately.."

"You don't understand Liam."

"What do I not understand?" He sits down beside me, and puts the blanket over both of us.

"You said, what we've wanted lately."

"Yeah?"

"I don't know what I want anymore."

"I've noticed.." He whispers.

"Wh-"

"I saw the way you looked at him"

"W-"

"Clay."

I don't respond. I know he's probably jealous.

"Those kisses on the island, actually meant something didn't they.." He says quietly.

"I-" I stop. Because I don't know what to say. I don't know what they meant. I don't know how I feel.

Then tell him that stupid

I start again. "I don't know-"

This is so stressful.

"Because I don't know what they meant, I don't know how I feel...what my feelings mean." He doesn't respond. It makes me uneasy. "I'm..sorry."

"So your saying, you don't even like me?"

"No. Not at all." I hesitate.

"Then what are you saying."

"That I still don't know how I feel about Clay. My feelings for you haven't changed."

We sit there is silence. It's not even awkward because I know I made the mistake of telling him. I should've just kept my mouth shut.

"Just remember. He's still sleeping up there. And I was first to your room."

He stands up and kisses me on the cheek. "Good night"

I drift off to sleep.

•••

"Can we please wake her up. She slept all day and I wanna watch the game."

"No, Liam. She's exhausted. Look at her."

"So?"

"Not the outside Liam. The inside. She's been through a lot. I thought you understood that. She just found out that the only person she had left is gone, she survived a plane crash, and she has to deal with you. Have some sympathy."