the persistence of memory ♤ frerard

night//eleven,twelve,thirteen

The next night there was no sign of Gerard, he kind of left after I admitted I liked men, he just awkwardly left with a small goodbye, then rushed off the porch at a surprising speed. I kinda felt empty after that, and it was at that moment I realized I liked the mysterious man. 

I had looked around the entire neighborhood, and there was no sign of him. He wasn't sitting on a curb gazing up at the stars, and he didn't pop out of nowhere as I sat on my porch like he had the night before, and it upset me, it upset me because I wouldn't have told him if I knew it would bother him, it was my fault he wasn't around tonight, and it upset me.

// night twelve //

This night there was no sign of him, I knew there wouldn't be, I fucked up and there was no going back.

// night thirteen //

This night, I was out looking for him, when Gerard ran up to me, grabbed my head in his hands and kissed me, roughly and passionately, before pulling away, uttering a quiet apology and rushing away, seeming to disappear into the shadows of an ally. "I wish I could just fall in love with him. . . and I wish he could just fall in love with me," I whispered to the night sky. And seeing as Gerard seemed to be part of the night, maybe he heard me, maybe he was the wind that took my words away.