the persistence of memory ♤ frerard

night//twenty

Tonight was just. . . off. There were clouds covering the moon, hiding her beauty, it was raining, no, it was storming, harsher than it had in years. I wandered the streets in search of Gerard, I was soaking wet with bare feet, a t-shirt and sweatpants, no more than that. I wanted him right then, to hold me and to have him assure me everything would be okay.

I finally saw Gerard, running down the sidewalk before he captured me in a tight hug, not letting go. Finally, he moved, holding my head in his hands and looking at me intently. "When you fall in love with me I'm sorry about what will happen, but neither of us have any control over it, okay?" Gerard pushed, scanning my eyes.

I nodded slowly, seeing nothing in his eyes. Absolutely nothing. No constellations, no stars, no beasts, I just saw empty, black holes filled with tears. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him again, while he held me back, so tightly, like he was scared I would just disappear.

"You'll remember me, right?" Gerard whispered.

"How could I ever forget you? You impacted me in so many ways. . . the day I forget you is the day I lose myself." I could feel Gerard smile at this, and he pulled away, kissing me. I kissed him back, and we stood like that for minutes, before he pulled away.

"I have to go for tonight Frank, okay?" Gerard told me.

"Why?"

"They're angry with me, they're sad, they need me. I'll be here tomorrow, just sit on your porch, I'll be there, I promise." He kissed me lightly one last time. "I love you, Frank."

And then, he was gone. Nothing held me anymore, he was just gone, he became part of the night.