Not Again! (Lesbian Story) (GirlxGirl)

15.

"I've come to the conclusion that I'm a horrible person." John said randomly. I looked over my shoulder at him with a confused smile. A little while earlier he called and asked if he could come over because something happened and he wanted to tell me about it.

But once we got to my room, he just threw himself on my bed and stayed silent. I figured that he'd talk when he's ready so I hopped on my computer.

"Really good opening line." I said before before turning back and facing the computer screen.

I heard him groan behind me, "Okay listen...if I tell you something, do you promise you won't hate me?"

I turned in my chair slowly so I could fully face him. Nothing like this had ever happened between us cause we usually never talked about serious stuff.

"What is it?" I asked cautiously.

"Promise me first." He pleaded.

I squinted my eyes, "You're not secretly having sex with my long time crush, are you?" I asked referring to the whole Lena and Destiny situation.

"No, nothing like that."

"Alright, then I promise." I said before leaning back in my chair.

He sat up fully and took a deep breath, "I don't know what my sexuality is."

I furrowed my brows, "But...I thought you were gay."

"I thought so too! But recently I've been finding girls attractive and there's this girl at school that I think I'm crushing on." He said reluctantly.

I shrugged, "I mean, it's ok to not know. You and I both have seen enough tumblr posts that support the idea of not wanting to have a label on yourself."

"But you don't understand, that won't work for me. You see unlike most people, I want labels and I like them. I don't like not knowing and second guessing myself. I like to feel...solid."

I sat up in my chair, "Explain please."

"Like if I say I'm gay but I find myself being attracted to girls, then it's almost like I'm abandoning everything I thought I was. And I can't just say I'm bisexual because it doesn't feel that way I guess? Ugh, why must sexuality be so confusing?!" He yelled before grabbing a pillow and smothering his face with it.

I rolled my eyes, "I know right! It's so frustrating! Straight people don't understand that being gay is actually mentally exhausting. I've spent so much time second guessing my sexuality. Then after I finally accept it, I feel like I'm never good enough. Like what girl would want me? And they're so hard to read! It's like, are you into me? Are you just being nice? Are you gay too?"

John threw the pillow off to reveal a small smile on his face, "Ahh, the many joys of being gay."

Before I could respond my phone started to ring. "Oh so now you got other friends? I see how it is." John said before playfully folding his arms across his chest.

I looked for the caller ID since it'd be unusual for someone to be calling me this late in the day. My heart leaped when the screen read "Hottie Mel."

I answered it, "Hello Melissa." I said slightly exaggerating her name to hint to John who it was. A big smile grew on his face and I knew that meant trouble.

"Hey, what are you doing right now?" She asked.

"Uhh, just hanging out with John." I said while keeping a close on eye him.

"Are you guys alone?" She questioned.

"Yeah." I said while watching John frantically search through my desk drawers.