'"You're insane ma, I love this man! I'm going to live with him ans there's nothing you can do about it."
"I don't give a fuck if you love him or not, you'll not leave this house, not with my grandchildren!" Grandma yelled to mum.
It seems that mum met a new guy, this one was online. He said that he loved her, that he wanted to live together with her but grandma wasn't happy about it.
Since mum got pregnant and left the house, grandma has been saying that she won't accept any other man in this house and it's not because mum left Ralph because grandma loved that, it was because she got pregnant, introduced them to a new man and in the end she became a single mother. She was just hurted.
"You watch me then." Mum responded with a daring stare.
I knew that grandma was beyond Mad but her reaction was unexpected. She grabbed the broom, screamed and broke one showcase we had in the corner.
In the middle of the argument I heard my brother crying and ran to him, to my little baby bother. He was on his baby crib and crying because his pacifier fell down, I putted it in his mouth and caressed his face.
"Sleep. Don't listen to them." I whispered. I don't know if I was talking to him or to me... My brother started to close his eyelids and I kissed his forehead.
I left the room and went to the living room, everyone was quiet and grandma wasn't here anymore.
"Where's grandma?"
"She decided to sleep in the basement tonight." Mum said not caring at all and went to her bedroom.
Everyday I saw my family tearing apart and I felt helpless.
-------------------------------
That was the first but not the last time grandma slept in the basement...
Today they were having a big argument again, but this time was grandpa that was yelling at mum.
"How are you going to live with someone that has such poor conditions? Don't You care about your kids?" Grandpa said.
"Of course I care, that's Why they're coming with me. I'm their mother and I'm the one who says what's right or wrong!" Mum yelled.
"How many kids does he have?"
"He has two kids." Mum answered. She was lying, Victor has six kids...
"He's fucking married!" Grandpa yelled.
"He's getting the divorce!"
Next thing I know mum slaps grandpa and just lost his mind. Grandpa opens one of the kitchen drawers and grabs the biggest knive aiming to mum. I grab him by his shirt desperate to stop him, grandma is screaming and I plead him to stop. Eventually he does stop, after I rip his shirt and he notices what he's doing.
All I can see is blood... I'm terrified, my face is stained with tears...
"Eleonor...." Someone whispers.
I see grandma in the corner of the wall with blood streaming down her mouth...
"Eleonor."
Grandpa is next to my brother's crib, crying...
"Eleonor!" I hear louder. I can't stop shaking and crying.
Please make it stop. I didn't felt this weak in years.
"Eleonor! Wake up!" I feel a hand caressing my face and other one shaking my right shoulder.
I open my eyelids and see Stephen with a worried face.
"Fucking finally!" He whisper-yells and hugs me. "You were crying in your sleep. I was so worried!" I close my eyes and try to find comfort in his arms.
Slowly I try to calm down and recall everything that happened. I take a deep breath and step back from Stephen.
"Why are you in my room?" I ask him.
"I was smoking a cigarette and looking at your window when I saw you moving. From your movements and face, I could see you were scared." He says and I look into his eyes.
I can't believe I just met this guy and I'm already looking for comfort in him, I must be crazy. However he's able to make me happier, lighter.
"Well you could use the front door and not jump to my balcony like you're spiderman. " I say to Stephen and hug him. He chuckles.
"If I recall correctly, five hours ago you did the same. Spiderwoman. " He says and I laugh.
Damn you for being right.
We stay like that for a while, Stephen caressing my hair and I was smuggling into his chest a little more. This arms are my new source of peace, my new source of power to overcome all this feelings and memories I have.
"Please, stay until I fall asleep. I need to feel safe before I fall asleep so I don't have this kind of dreams." I whisper the last part.
Even though I already talked to him about how I felt around him, I still can't express my feelings like any normal person would do. Fuck, I just said yes and after that, I said goodbye and returned to my room.
This is one of the things I don't like about me, this need to be cold towards everyone and even more towards who does me right. I just can't say "I love you", "Thank you" and what I can't really say easily is "Sorry". These expressions don't belong in my dictionary because I never felt remorse, I never felt grateful to my family and I never felt really loved.
Now this reflects on my relationships. It took me years to say to George how much he meant to me, how he was one of the few I cared about.
Now I feel that it's hard for me to do that with Stephen, I feel that I shouldn't show him my weaknesses but he saw them, he knew they existed before my family because for them I'm just a cold-hearted girl that can listen to anything and nothing will shake her.
On the one hand, they are kind of right because I learned how to not give a fuck about everyone and everything.
On the other hand, they don't know how hurts to hear some of their words.
"I won't leave you side Eleonor, not until I'm sure you're fine." He says and gives me a kiss on the head.
"I appreciate it," I respond and lay back, drifting off to sleep.
"Tonight we are victorious
Champagne pouring over us
All my friends were glorious
Tonight we are victorious
Oh-oh-oh-oh, victorious
Oh-oh-oh-oh"
What the actual fuck...
Double bubble disco queen headed to the guillotine
Skin as cool as Steve McQueen, let me be your killer king
It hurts until it stops, we will love until it's not
I'm a killing spree in white, eyes like broken Christmas lights
What is this?
I should wake up to the sound of Slipknot, not this band I snot know...
My touch is black and poisonous
And nothing like my punch-drunk kiss
I know you need it, do you feel it?
Drink the water, drink the wine
Oh we gotta turn up the crazy
Livin' like a washed up celebrity
Shooting fireworks like it's the fourth of July
Until we feel alright
Until we feel alright
Somebody make it stop please, this is too cheerful in the morning.
I turn it off and look at the clock, it's 7a.m. Got to hurry up and get dressed.
I head to George's house, it's Saturday and he certainly needs help to clean the house after the party. I still have to explain to him what happened.
After fifteen minutes I arrive at my best friend's house.
"Hey faggot! Can I come in?" I yell at the front door.
"Wow that's a good one, gotta use it with Raphael." Mariah says laughing as she's leaving George's kitchen. I laugh with her.
"You're still here?"
"Well, William was so drunk that it was impossible for him to go back. James, Raphael and Bruno were so high that they needed to stay too. The rest had to go home ans here I am."
"Awesome. Two more hands to clean this up is truly needed."
"Then it seems you'll be happy to see me here too." I hear him saying.
Stephen is at the door with a grey hoodie from Calvin Klein, black, ripped jeans and sunglasses.
It's ridiculous how can someone be this attractive...
"God, I need to eat something right now or I'll die." We hear a voice from the living room. "I'm being serious guys, I can almost see the light!" It was Raphael.
We look at each other and bein to laugh.
YOU ARE READING
This Is Me
Teen Fiction"Sorry," I mutter and God, I just lost all the strength I had on my legs. This guy should be a model... "Don't be pretty thing." He says and cups my face with his right hand. "I would say that this is destiny, don't you think?" There's somethin...
