This Is Me

twenty-nine

"You are such a bitch, I don't know how you are related to us. You are just like your aunt, that whore" The phrase I hear every day and that one day would stop affecting me 

Two weeks have gone by... 

Two weeks without Stephen looking my way for even once. I never saw him at school unless we had classes together, I never had him visit my room again, never had his warmth again, never had Stephen. 

Not anymore. 

At this time I remembered him like he was simply a memory, a memory of times that weren't as dark as the ones I had before. 

I knew I couldn't depend on someone to be happy, and that's what makes me mad. I trusted him to make me happy and he failed me. We were together one day and on the next, he just left without explaining the why. I couldn't believe that he did this to me just because he was tired of me, no, I believed there was something more to it than he let out. I mean, he came to me one day, looking devastated and then he just disappeared without a word. 

I felt so lonely like there was no one else to hold me anymore. I had George, Mariah and a bunch of friends but the way Stephen made me feel wasn't the same as they did. 

There was something that was crushing my pride, I knew that if Stephen came back if he tried to contact me again like nothing happened my arms would be wide open, I would let him have a look inside. 

I was this emotionless person and never understood why, it wasn't like I was afraid to learn the why I'm empty inside, but now that I felt something, I wanted to do it again. Can you blame me? I went from a person that was cold as ice to someone that could feel a little of happiness. Of course, the downside of feeling was that now I still felt something, I felt this immense sadness. Deep down I wanted him to hold my hand or even show a little of concern because right now I felt that if I lived or died didn't matter to him. 

The cold and heartless Eleonor was almost gone, I was finally understanding myself thanks to him, my eyes were finally open wide. Stephen was the one that helped look inside, to see that deep down there was a heart that could be warmed. 

I couldn't think about this guy anymore, I needed some distraction. Calling George and Mariah was my best option right now. 

After thirty long minutes of talking to George and a couple of seconds with Mariah, we decided to meet up at the Low Point just to spend a cheerful afternoon. It was like the Three Amigos or something.

When I got to the Low Point I greeted Tó, the bartender and headed outside to our usual spot. George was already waiting for us and obviously, Mariah wasn't here yet. 

"My favourite bitch! What took you so long?" He asks smiling sheepishly. 

"Well, I had to prepare myself for what was about to happen," I answer smirking and sit in front of him. 

"What do you mean?" George asks curiously, raising his right eyebrow.

"Well, one can't simply meet you without some mental preparation," I answer and start laughing, earning a scoff from him. Some people just can't handle my humour. 

Thirty minutes went by until Mariah decided to show up. Yeah, I wasn't the only one in the need of a clock, she needed it too. Maybe more than I did. 

"Waddup asshole and George." She greets us grinning. To that, I just flipped her off. Our friendship was indeed beautiful...

Tó comes and gives Mariah her coffee thanking her. 

Now, there was a funny thing about this bartender, he was the nicest person you could meet, Tó was really lovely and the way he said thank you every time you handed him the money was pretty funny. We would give him the money and he would say "Thank youuuuuuuuuuuu". I don't know, I thought it was pretty funny.