This Is Me

eighteen

'Yesterday grandma was a little tipsy and kept yelling at grandpa saying he was a cheater and all those types of accusations.
Since I was born and raised in a family with too many conflicts I was used to ignore them however I needed to know more about this matter and on the next day I asked mum if what grandma said was true.
"Yes it's all true. You know, your grandpa loves us very much however he can't be a faithful husband."
"You're telling that grandpa is a cheater and everyone's okay with that?"
"If grandma is fine, we have to be too."
"How did you find out he had an affair?"
"Your grandpa doesn't have an affair with just a woman, he cheats with multiple womans. Once he brought a woman to our house saying that she was his friend's wife and he had gone on a business trip and she needed help. Grandma gave her a bed, washed her clothes, give her food and in the end we discovered she was his lover. As you can imagine she was not happy about that." "But you divorced from daddy because he was cheater like you called him many times..."
"Yeah but your grandma was raised to be a loving wife no matter what happens ans that's what she does, she ignores everything."
"I can't imagine how someone can be alright with that. Her husband doesn't love her..."
"I believe he loves her but they're too different from each other, they have different needs... And she doesn't know the worst part."
"What's worse than this?"
"Your grandpa as a daughter your age with a woman that is 35 years old."

Fear, that's all I could feel right now. Nowing that my grandma, the woman who raised me, the one who ever loved me inconditionally, the only one I felt that truly loved me, was at the hospital was truly killing me.

When my mother called she wasn't really specific, she only said that grandma was sent to the hospital after she fell in the kitchen and she was now under diagnosis. 

In the middle of this what I wasn't really expecting was the support of this people, Mariah, William, Raphael and Stephen made sure that I would arrive to the hospital safe and sound, that they were there for me and I was truly glad. At first I said to them that they needn't to come but Mariah kept saying "I'm the one who decides that!", while William said "Shut up and just let us join you." and at the end was Stephen, he didn't spoke but his eyes said everything I needed to know, they said "I'll be there with you no matter how much you protest."Let's not forget about Raphael though, just as I ended the phone call with my mother the only words I heard from him were "I'll prepare the car!".

I just met this people but I could already tell that they were going to be my family too. 

George was asleep and since Raphael's car could only carry five people, I asked Bruno and James to take care of my best friend. I knew he would kill me when he discovered everything but I couldn't wake him up and I really wanted to hurry up. 

All I could think while I was on my way to the hospital was my grandma, I was afraid of losing her, lose one of the few sources of love I still had, she was my everything. 

If God truly exists why would he give me a life full of pain, full of disappointment? Why, after everything I've been through, would he take me one of the most important family member I had? 

If God exists, He was never with me. 

I keep my head on the window while Raphael speeds to the hospital. I kept my tear from streaming all the way to the facility because even in times of dispair I couldn't show weakness. 

If He doesn't want to help me, I at least can assure Him that I won't be weak. I can be superior to all this. 

Finally I see those big letter's speling the word "HOSPITAL" and when the car comes to a halt I jump out and run to the recepcionist.