This Is Me

twenty-three

"I'll make you scream my name,"

As those words left his mouth I felt myself giving up, I tried to find something in my body that made me say no, that made me want to go away but that seems to be impossible. This guy is turning my world and my beliefs upside down and the worst of all is, that I'm allowing it, I just can't be away from him. 

Stephen kneels down kissing the valley between my breasts, kissing my belly and grabbing my hips, it seems like he understood how unstable I was and in need of support. 

At this point, only my shoulders were against the wall, my lower body was arched in the need of more contact and my breath kept exiting uneven. 

Stephen raised the hem of my shirt and started kissing the lower part of my belly, "You don't know how I wanted this," he breaths and bites my hip. Without giving me time to process, he grabs me and turns me around making my butt being direct to his face, I avoid looking at him until I feel him nibbling my left butt cheek and I gasp.

His hands do an ascending movement, feeling my whole back. From my thighs to my butt and finishing on my shoulders.

He moves again but I don't dare to look, my hands are on the wall trying to support part of my weight, helping me to not fall and to not embarrass myself. 

"I was just thinking of something..." Stephen whispers in my ear and I release a breath I didn't know I was holding. He moves my hair to the right side of my shoulder, bites my neck and whispers, "You would look so fucking good in all-fours."

Now I'm the one that can't hold it anymore.

I turn around and grab his face against mine, giving him a feverish kiss and moaning as asking him for more, Stephen complies. He taps my butt and I take that as an invitation for me to jump, my legs grab him by the waist and he starts walking without missing a beat. 

Suddenly I'm thrown to the bed, feeling the fabric against my skin, looking at the man in front of me and thinking that this was our moment, that he was here with me, he was asking me to trust him and that I was doing it. 

Me, the person that was always against the world and everyone, was now trusting someone like this. Truth to be told, I don't know him for that long and now here I am, exposing myself this way.

My train of thoughts are interrupted with a simple gesture from him, Stephen brings his hands to the back of his skull, grabs his shirt and removes it. All I see are his muscles and the Kali finally appearing, those eyes that always gave me some strength are now looking at me and the best part is that beneath her are his muscles, a perfect set of abs with a mouthwatering skin. Not forgetting the happy trail that leads me to promised land, and how curious I was to find out how good the land was. 

I've said this before, but no man should be this perfect because that's what he is. Stephen is definitely one in a billion, his voice, his accent, his body, his face, bone structure and last but not least, those eyes that hold a life of pain that few know about, those eyes that are physically beautiful and at the same time aren't empty, they have a soul and that soul is what I'll try to reach. 

However, now, they don't show anything more than lust. Pure lust.

Just like that, I can't wait any longer. I sit up, grab him by his belt and pull him towards me, kissing this man like there's no tomorrow, I need to feel Stephen and to feel like there's a place safe for me, something I can hold on to.

No, I don't have suicidal thoughts but at this point in my life I feel like there's no place for me, I feel like I'll live in this emptiness forever without love, care like all just wonder around this world until my time comes.